Two-rrific super-dads – A tribute to fathers of twins
As more and more fathers take their roles seriously, on this Father’s Day, let’s stop ignoring and start appreciating fathers’ contributions to parenting. Here, Pooja Bakhshi, a mum of 3-year-old twins, pays a tribute to all the super-dads out there.
Fathers of twins are, in my opinion, an ignored breed. While most mums of multiples get more attention than they want, need or deserve, hardly anyone gives a second thought to the dads.
As a mother of twins myself, I’ve experienced everything from being asked embarrassing / annoying questions from complete strangers, to people stopping the stroller to snap pictures of the twins.
But above all, almost everyone I meet (except parents of multiples of course) is filled with awe, admiration, respect or, sometimes, even pity for me. It is automatically assumed that I do all the work, and that cannot be farther from the truth.
3 years ago, when I gave birth to the twins, I automatically became a ‘superhero.’ My husband, unfortunately, was not awarded that status. He is seen as more of a sidekick – the Robin to my Batman.
I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy the superhero status. In fact, I’ve been known to play the Batman card on occasion, when my husband and I couldn’t agree on something related to the twins.
But in all fairness to my husband, he is more than a sidekick — he is, in fact, an almost equal partner in all things parenting.
When our twins were newborns, he prepared their milk bottles, fed them, bathed them and rocked them. He woke up at night and changed his fair share of poopy diapers.
Think twins and that is almost as much work as the mother of a singleton might do!
Now that the twins are older, my husband spends every evening with them, right till he tucks them into bed. Almost every Sunday, he wakes up early with them and takes them out for their favourite breakfast of pancakes, so that I can sleep in.
He might spend fewer hours with the twins than I do, but that little detail doesn’t change the fact that he is a great dad.
My husband is not the only super-dad I’ve seen. As part of a community full of twins (and higher order multiples), I’ve seen many involved dads out there.
Now, while I have no idea how much work goes into raising a singleton (I hear it’s a lot), I’m sure that there are several fathers of singletons out there who are extremely involved with their kids as well.
It is a fact that in today’s day and age, more and more fathers are taking their roles seriously, changing diapers to coaching their children’s football teams — and everything in between.
On this Father’s Day, let’s pay a tribute to all these super-dads, who are right alongside their wives/partners parenting their children every day, and not just “helping out.” It’s my hope that this article makes them feel appreciated and inspires them to continue being terrific dads.
Every single day, I’m thankful to my husband for being the dedicated father that he is.
Every single day, I’m overwhelmed by the love and care that he showers on the kids and me.
Every single day, I feel lucky to have him by my side as we walk on this incredibly difficult path that parenting is.
Of course, I’m not the only mum who appreciates her husband’s great ‘daddy skills.’ Here’s what some other mums of twins have to say about their husbands:
“My husband Young has pleasantly surprised me with his nurturing paternal instincts.
“Whilst the instincts were subtly shown when we had our two boys, they really shone when our twin girls were born. Maybe it’s the father-daughters bond? Maybe it’s him stepping up to manage our ‘big’ family of six?
“Regardless, he has definitely augmented our parenting journey with his intuitive dedication. Such abundance of love that he showers us with! Thank you hubby, and Happy Father’s Day!”
– Yvonne Tan, 38, about SK Young (They are parents to 8- and 4-year-old boys, and 17-month-old twin girls.)
“I think my husband is the better parent between the 2 of us and I wish that he had more time to spend with the boys when they were younger, as he was more intuitive and sensitive to their needs.
“Even now, despite his own schedule, he always puts the boys first whenever he sees them. Corny as it is, he’s exactly what I want my boys to grow up into.”
– Priyanka Elhence, 35, about Rohit Elhence (They are parents to 7-year-old twin boys.)
“Our twins were premature, born at 33 weeks after I spent 3 weeks in the hospital for early contractions. It was a difficult time for us, and Adam, being the devoted husband and father-to-be that he is, was with me every step of the way; as we spent nights in hospital listening to the girls’ heartbeats.
“From then on, Adam has been very hands-on and a sensible, calming voice and presence during times when I felt overwhelmed and desperate. I’m very grateful — he’s not only been an amazing husband but also a wonderful dad to the girls. Happy Father’s Day! ”
– Tam Pei Pei, 34, about Adam Gerrard (They are parents to 7-month-old identical twin girls.)
“I’m very thankful and blessed that my husband Kenneth loves to be a big kid himself and plays with our kids. Thank you too for doing the yucky stuff – diapers, vomit, washing up.
“But most of all, I’m thankful that he models to them God’s love and grace.”
– Patsy Soh, 38, about Kenneth Lam (They are parents to 6-year-old boy-girl twins and a 2-year-old boy.)
“In the evenings, after dinner, my husband plays Mozart on the piano for our 7-week-old girls. He did this while I was pregnant too, because we heard Mozart was good for brain development!
One of the sweetest things he did for me after the birth of our girls was to buy me a basket full of snacks.
Knowing how hungry I get when I nurse, and how much I hate venturing out to the kitchen in the middle of the night, he put the basket next to my side of the bed. He keeps my snack pile well stocked and makes sure I always have a bottle of water next to me as well.”
– Gah Wing Tsui, 32, about her husband (They are parents to 7-week-old twin girls.)
Article contributed by Pooja Bakhshi, mum of 3-year-old twins.