Student kills her own baby
We question, we speculate, we judge—but what really goes on in the mind of the mother. What is she suffering from or running from? There is no valid excuse to kill but we should still understand the circumstances that led to such unacceptably drastic measures.
Even in Singapore, mothers are killing their own and even taking their own lives after. Read the story here. Most cases are due to postnatal depression, rape, or an inability to survive financially with a baby. Of course, this is only what it appears to be on the surface…it runs much deeper.
A newborn drowned
In Kelantan, Malaysia, a 21-year-old laboratory sciences student was arrested. She allegedly drowned her baby in a bucket of water soon after giving birth.
A lifeless baby girl was found in the toilet of a surau (prayer room) in Bachok. Of all places to kill a baby, she chose a holy place of prayer. The ghastly discovery was made when cleaners were washing the toilet in the morning and found the dead infant.
Bonding before killing
State police chief, Datuk Jalaluddin Abdul Rahman, confirmed that the baby girl died of drowning. He disclosed something very unsettling: “Traces of milk were also found in the baby, probably from being breastfed. This proved that the baby died after being born.”
This mother took the time and effort to breastfeed her baby but still decided to murder her after. Somehow that connection and bond was not felt—unfortunately.
The police chief added: “There was placenta still in her womb. Our investigations showed that she managed to obtain treatment secretly soon after the baby was born.” The mother has been arrested from her home for the crime.
Postnatal depression
Though the reason behind this case of infanticide was never revealed, we want to explore postnatal depression because it is not something that you should dismiss—it is very real and it can drive mothers to the point of murder in severe cases.
Don’t be surprised, but two thirds of mothers suffer from this in the first week after delivery but it usually subsides within days. These are the symptoms to look out for, according to Kandang Kerbau Hospital Singapore:
– feelings of irritability
– weepiness
– moodiness
– anxious thoughts about caring for the baby
– feeling frustrated with the baby’s crying
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How to overcome postnatal depression
There are ways to get over this. We will explore a few methods that does not involve taking meds—antidepressants may balance out the chemicals in your brain by increasing levels of seratonin, but in the long run there are side effects too. It may cause a dependency and worst of all, antidepressants may not even be effective for some people. Be aware that these antidepressants may pass on into your breast milk in small amounts.
Therapy by talking. A husband, friend or family member might help but they don’t know the extent of what you’re going through. A therapist may be your best bet. You can also look into a support group, a doctor, counselor or psychotherapist.
Get as much rest as you can. Sleep and rest may not be available all the time because you have a newborn—still try to get some. Ask someone to help look after your baby so you can relax, put on some chill-out music and unwind. Also, you can nap when your baby sleeps.
A balanced and healthy diet. This one is a no-brainer. Now, with all the new demands of your body, your best bet is good nutrition. To avoid a dip in your blood sugar level, watch the times you eat—don’t go too long without consuming food. Eating healthy can boost your immune system and keep you from feeling run down or exhausted.
Cut yourself some slack. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Everything is new, there are a myriad of things to learn and master—it’s not easy and cannot be grasped in an instant. Don’t try to do too many things at once and overwhelm yourself. It’s OK to ask for help if you can’t cope—no one is going to judge. Be realistic and reward yourself. We forget that we too need a treat or two sometimes for being supermom.
Exercise. We don’t mean overexert yourself. Choose gentle workouts, yoga or Pilates are good choices. This will help you physically and mentally although it may be the last thing you want to do.
Meet other mummies. Join a support group—see the issues and joys other mothers are experiencing and you will see that you are not alone. You may feel isolated, but you are not.
Helpline. If you need someone to talk to call the National Pregnancy Helpline on 1800-MUM-TO-BE, the Babes Teens SMS Helpline on 8111-3535, or the Child Protection & Welfare Service at the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports on 1800-258-6378.
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