Singapore Mum: "I Can’t Have Sex But IVF Helped Me Give Birth"

We were contacted by a family member of a couple who wished to share this story. Names have been changed to maintain privacy.

Sheena has been with her husband Mahesh for 7 years now- 4 years were spent dating and 3 being married. They had never had sex before marriage, but she was able to have orgasms whenever they made out. Their sexual relations (not intercourse) involved kissing, fondling and the occasional oral sex.

Only on their first night together once they tied the knot, Sheena experienced tremendous pain while trying to have sex. As Mahesh tried to penetrate, she would cramp up and not be able to continue their love-making attempt. Thinking it was just an initial reaction to sex, the couple brushed it off. But the next few times the same thing happened. Naturally Mahesh started to worry.

He shares with us: “My wife has a condition that makes it very hard for us to have sexual intercourse. She told me many years ago that she had trouble inserting tampons into her vagina, and used sanitary pads instead. But we never imagined this ‘issue’ would be such a major and challenging one.”

“We met with many doctors, and they think she has extreme vaginismus, which is when a vagina has painful contractions in response to physical contact, like sexual intercourse.”

As a result, Sheena was so afraid of sex, she never had intercourse with her husband.

Sheena tells us, “It created a lot of tension between Mahesh and me. We talked through it, and I even tried to insert smaller objects like a tampon (once again) and even my fingers, but after many attempts, failed. The act of inserting something down there isn’t a pleasurable one to begin with. Then imagine the pressure I was under to ‘perform’. I felt like a failed woman. There were many nights that I would just cry myself to sleep feeling like I was not able to satisfy my man. But Mahesh was a sweetheart. He constantly made me feel loved and special, and gave us regular ‘sexy time’, to my limitations- he never pushed or made me feel inadequate. He would stop when he saw me cringe in pain.”

After all Sheena’s laborious efforts to have sexual intercourse with her husband, they accepted that they could never have penetrative sex. But they really wanted to have a baby.

Well, you don’t need to have ever had sex to have a baby, thanks to science.

Through IVF treatment, Mahesh and Sheena were able to get pregnant. Their first shot at the treatment failed, but the couple remained confident, positive and strong, and tried again. This time, Sheena was overjoyed to know she was expecting a baby girl and her pregnancy went on smoothly.

Of course being afraid of vaginal birth, she opted for a cesarean section. The operation went well and the couple now have a healthy and bouncy daughter.

“We were so happy, we cried for a whole hour after getting the results from the doctor! I’ve never seen Mahesh so excited in all our years together. I felt whole again. This is our miracle baby, if we may call it that. We’ve named her ‘Angel’ because that is what she is to us,” the new mum tell us with tears in her eyes. Tears of happiness to know they cleared that hurdle together.

“Who says a virgin can’t give birth? Of course, this may not be an exciting story to share with our children (the couple are planning to adopt a child) but that’s life - you have to stick through thick and thin with the ones you love,” Mahesh tells us candidly.

We’re loving their undeniable dynamic, zest for life, and big hearts. We wish them and their growing family all the best in everything they do!