Mums, this Singapore mum's post on mum-shaming is what you need to read today!
"Good for you if you are a wonderful super mum who cooks healthy food. Good for you. But there is no need to be that judgemental lah."
If you’ve ever felt judged while trying your best to raise your kids, don’t worry, you are not alone. Mums everywhere have to deal with this sort of mum-shaming, whether it’s about not being able to breastfeed, or not providing their kids with organic snacks, or simply for not being able to make those Pinterest-worthy cakes.
Criticising mums is easy. Raising kids is hard, exhausting work, and unless we’re talking about abuse and neglect, there really is no ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ way of doing things.
Which is why, we felt that Singapore mums will totally be able to relate to this Facebook post by mummy Diana Hairul. Read on!
Diana was furious when she got to know that her friend was terribly hurt by scathing remarks from her mummy friend.
She writes on Facebook, “A friend messaged me earlier today and was very upset by an incident. A friend of hers commented about the dishes she prepared for her kids. Them eating toxic foods said the friend.”
‘What food? Hotdogs, nuggets, fishball, ramlee burger, maggie goreng.”
“She wanted me to share recipes on making food from scratch… so I was sharing and she replied that making from scratch will take a lot of her time especially when she has two jobs and a mother to 5. That was when she started pouring it out to me. I called her up. We spoke and she teared. You know how that feels? When a Mommy cried and said that she is not a good mother. She is not fit to be Mom.
I got mad! I got furious!”
“I know that nowadays, it is like the trend to be making food from scratch. Konon, the healthier version. Well, maybe. But there is no need to be so critical that you go around passing judgements to Mommies that don’t do it. Not everyone has the luxury of time or the money to go organic.”
“Living in Sg is already freaking expensive. That after paying bills and more bills, we can sometimes be left with just enough. And since it is expensive living in Sg, mommies and daddies have to work. Work really hard just so their kids can have a better future and a decent meal.”
“So what if she cooks from canned food? So what if she cooks sambal hotdog with vegetable soup and fishball? So what if she prepares bolognaise or creamy pasta sauces from cans? So what?”
“She is still feeding her kids. She is still doing her duty as a Mom and wife, looking after the kids. Making sure they don’t go hungry.”
“Do you know how much money it costs to buy organic? Do you know how time consuming it can be to cook meatballs from scratch? Good for you if you are a wonderful supermom who cooks healthy food. Good for you. But there is no need to be that judgemental lah.”
“We grew up eating sardines from cans too. We grew up eating a lot of berlemak food with santan and all, most of us grew up alright and became engineers, teachers et al. They are healthy too.”
“I have friends who only eat very healthy food and no rice diet but ended up with diseases like diabetes, heart disease, anaemia. Chill lah. Give these Mommies a break. No, give each other a break!”
“Motivate and empower not breaking their spirits and putting them down. Being a parent is no easy feat. We all go through those dark, bad mommy days. It takes a lot of patience and sacrifice.”
“My friend here is doing the best that she can. She cooks, cleans, tutor, manage and works two jobs. She is a lady with many hats. I applaud her for her resilience.”
“You dear lady, do not deserve the title of a friend. You deserve the penampar. How could you break her down like that? Instead of being so mighty why not share with her tips and tricks. There is no need to say she is making her kids stupid by eating the food she cooks.”
“We get it. Healthy food is good. Lesser toxins. But now, your words are more toxic than those unhealthy food.”
Hat’s off to you, Diana, for speaking out for every mummy who’s been mum-shamed ever!
No mum wants to give her child toxic food, and while we’re all trying to be as healthy as we can be, it can get tough, and incredibly tiring!
Like Diana says, it’s really hard to raise children in the world today. Let’s not make it harder on ourselves. Instead, how about helping each other out?