Is a new mum answerable to society about the way she looks? Is it not enough that she has brought the most incredible and beautiful form of life into this world? How long will it take for the world to realise that the tummy is not a balloon, that it is not going to pop back into shape the moment the baby is out?
This mummy had a rather disappointing body shaming experience in Singapore recently. Read what happened...
Body shaming in Singapore store
The incident apparently happened last Tuesday, July 4, at a popular high street brand store in VivoCity. Says this mummy of 2, who gave birth to her second born just 8 months back, "I was trying on clothes that I could wear at work, mostly blouses and dresses..."
"A loud girl in her early 20s accidentally opened the curtain on my cubicle. Instinctively, I screamed, as I was startled. Then I closed it again. I heard the girl and her companion laughing and saying, "Oh! Were you traumatised?!"(With what they've seen) and laughing again some more. The staff in the fitting room didn't seem to care at all, in fact they were laughing too!"
"I felt bad because I felt like they were judging my body because it doesn't look good anymore...stitches, stretch marks, fat tummy and all."
She came out rather unimpressed with the store's handling of the situation, "The staff in the dressing room didn't even check if I was okay or offer an apology for what happened. I was handing them the clothes I tried on, they just said "put it there on the rack". They should train their staff further...It's as if they're just doing their job mechanically, and customer satisfaction and service doesn't matter anymore."
This mummy also wants to know if anyone has ever faced such an experience, "Am I the only one having insecurities like this? Those girls were rude!!"
We feel you, mummy, and no, you are not alone. Mums all over the world struggle with these prejudices every single day.
What to remember when you are body shamed
We have all had those moments when we have ended up 'justifying' our postpartum bodies or feeling bad about them. Body shaming can be an extremely hurtful experience. Mummies, the next time you are body shamed, remember:
It's natural to feel hurt and upset over these things, but do try not to dwell on them. Fill your mind with positive thoughts instead.
Understand that your body is magical, it just gave birth to your baby! Keep telling yourself that you love your body. You don't have to conform to someone else's idea of beauty.
Importantly, you have the power over how you feel, no one is in control of your happiness but you!
Everybody's a critic these days, especially with all the anonymity that social media offers. It is usually best not to get into an argument for the simple reason that, if the shamers are out to upset you, responding angrily will only show that they've succeeded.
Remember that the shaming, cruel things another person says are about their own prejudices and misconceptions. Most shamers are best ignored, they'll give up when they see they're not getting the desired response.
- Focus on what's truly important
Your health should remain your priority. As Joanne Peh said recently, "Our bodies have changed dramatically over 9 months, and we need to give it time to heal and go back to how it was before."
"That is why we need to focus on fixing the inside rather than the outside. My wish is for all mums to regain their strength and for their bodies to heal properly rather than be pressured by media stories."
Also READ: "I love my wife's postpartum body!"
