What is true love really? True love is to love someone so much, you place his/her needs and wants and happiness before yours. It is loving someone for what they are, not for what you want them to be.
True love is unconditional. True love knows no depth.
Singapore dad Galvin Sng recently wrote a long letter to his children on Facebook, and it is so beautiful and full of life truths, we had to share it here!
It is the story of Galvin’s parents, the kids’ ‘Yeye‘ and ‘Nainai‘, and how their love persevered even in the harshest of times.
It is a really heart touching tribute to Galvin’s parents and a must-read for all of us mums and dads, who are struggling to keep our relationships afloat.
Singapore dad’s letter about TRUE LOVE
Galvin writes, “My dear children,
“Yeye and Nainai may not be here on earth with us anymore, but Papa wants you to know they left me a precious gift. And now, I am passing this gift on to you.”
Apparently, ‘Yeye’ was a technician by day and a part-time dance instructor by night, and he even held a black belt in Tae Kwon Do!
PHOTO: FACEBOOK / GALVIN SNG
Galvin describes how Yeye’ and ‘Nainai’ first met, “When Yeye met Nainai, he was a dance instructor and she was his student.”
Love soon blossomed, and, “She made him feel like somebody special, and when she was by his side, he was so proud…never in his wildest dreams did he imagine that one day he would be loved by someone like her.”
“On her part, she found him fascinating; he was so different from the rest of the people she knew. Life with him was colourful, and he liked nothing more than to tell her jokes and hear her full-bellied laughter.”
Galvin’s birth added to the happiness, “When I was born, I seemed to be the blessing that would make their joy complete.”
PHOTO: FACEBOOK / GALVIN SNG
Galvin has fond memories of his childhood, of preparing dinner with his mum, and of times filled with her laughter. Sadly, things started changing gradually…and financial problems started cropping up in the family.
‘Naninai’ decided to get back to work, “Even though that made things better in terms of finances, a bridge had been crossed.”
There was now a slowly widening gap between Yeye and Nainai, “Nainai’s grit and independence left little room for your Yeye to be her hero, and he began to shrink into the background, distracting himself with various hobbies and interests, interests our little family could ill afford.”
Misunderstandings soon arose,”Your Nainai couldn’t understand his lack of zeal to provide for the family, so her doubts grew until she became possessed with the suspicion that he had another woman on the side.”
And it was then, that tragedy struck.
Galvin recalls, “It was amidst such a climate that your Nainai had a stroke that rendered her unable to talk and confined to a bed.” Yeye found himself helpless too, and, a ‘victim of his own lifelong diabetic condition.’
Fate has a strange way of teaching us life lessons…and ‘Yeye’ chose not to walk away from his troubles.
Galvin writes, “Given the discord between Yeye and Nainai at the time, your Gugu and I were simply thankful that he didn’t just walk away. And NOT walk away, that’s exactly what he did.”
“When he lost his job as a building assistant due to a misunderstanding with a colleague, he got himself retrained as a security guard and did a series of stints at various private condominiums and buildings across Singapore.”
Yeye stuck with Nainai through thick and thin,”He continued to stay by Nainai’s side, though all he could really do was the odd magic trick or joke, just for the hope of seeing the light come back into her eyes again, her cheek lift with the hint of a smile. That was all he had left to live for in the marriage. But still, he didn’t walk away.”
“So, that’s pretty much how the rest of their love story went. She, lying there, he, showing up by her side.”
Yeye’s health was however deteriorating, “Growing steadily weaker and sicker, due to his diabetic condition that he simply no longer had the willpower to fight.”
“Eventually, his health complications got so bad that he himself spent months in hospital due to heart and lung trouble.”
But strangely the love between Yeye and Nainai grew stronger by the day.
It was after all, all that they had left, “The first thing he would do upon those first moments back at home after a long spell of being warded would be to wheel himself to Nainai’s side and simply hold her hand, murmuring sweet nothings simply because with both of them being invalids, there was nothing left to argue over, blame each other for, or harbor expectations about.”
“All they had left was what remained of love, and love, they did.”
PHOTO: FACEBOOK / GALVIN SNG
And finally, it was time for one of them to say goodbye to the other. Quite unexpectedly, it was Yeye’s turn to leave first, “For so long it had seemed that she would be the one to leave first, but due to a sudden deterioration of his kidneys and declining heart function, your Yeye found himself to be the one at death’s door.”
“By some miracle, the nurses had contrived to wheel Nainai into his room, as she happened to have a medical appointment in the adjacent building that very day. Family and friends were gathered, a dear pastor friend was present, and we all shared the Holy Communion.”
“After that, there was just a moment for Yeye to be with Nainai, alone. I don’t know what they said to each other, as I, along with everyone else, had left the room.”
Reading about their last moment together got us teary-eyed, “All I saw as I peered through the window, was that your Yeye had reached out for her hand, and was mouthing words to her, as he had so often done before.”
“Before we knew it, the moment had passed, and we were ushered back into the room, filling it once more with the chitter chatter of those who are helpless in a hospital ward.”
Barely 3 months later Nainai passed away due to a sudden heart attack.
Galvin is convinced that Yeye and Nainai had conspired to be together, in life and in death, “He must have reminded her of how they used to dance together, and spoke to her of that day, when they would once more waltz in the heavens, free of age and pain, in a future we all can look forward to.”
“I’m sure he must have done that, or else she’d not have been so quick to float away, after hanging on doggedly for nine whole years after she had her stroke.”
So this is the gift that Galvin wants to bestow his children- the gift of true love, “The knowledge that love needs little else to survive, but itself. This was the lesson my parents taught me.”
“Your Yeye and Nainai met, liked each other, and fell in love. The special thing though, is that they stayed married through disappointment and pain, even when their dreams crumbled around them and all they had left was a shadow of their former selves.”
“They taught Papa what great gifts we may receive when we choose not to walk away during the darkest moments. They gave me that solid sense of being that comes from knowing my parents were two people who loved each other till the end.
“And this is the lesson I am now living out in front of you, together with your Mama. We have both learnt well.”
We can’t help but agree… We will all grow old, and ugly, and die one day. But when you love completely and unconditionally, there is no fear involved. Our love will see us through.
Also READ: Singapore dad shares his grief, “I lost my wife to cancer, my life will never be the same again…”