All couples fight, that’s a fact. Without arguments or disagreements, married life can almost become boring. The frequency of rows may differ between couples but fighting is definitely a given in marriages. However, how the couples deal with these disagreements is the true determinant of the strength and depth of their marriage.
In problematic relationships, each will usually defend himself or herself by blaming the other for the problem. Nobody wants to give in, both husband and wife are stubborn. This results in minor rows usually blowing up big time, and often end up in bitterness and hostility.
In an article in Daily Mail, relationship expert Dr. John Gottman revealed that there are “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”, namely Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Criticism happens when couples fight and use criticism in the form of character assassination. Contempt happens when a couple totally loathes each other and refuses to settle their differences. Defensiveness is responding to an attack in a violent way, and stonewalling occurs when a couple withdraws from each other completely.
Experts say that one way for couples to have a healthy relationship is to share the responsibility of doing household chores. Numerous surveys reveal that domestic responsibilities are the nuber one cause of fighting among couples. So, stop using your work as an excuse for not helping your spouse and start helping out at home.
Another sure way to maintain a happy marriage is for couples to simply learn to say “sorry” to each other. Couples should be able to settle differences amicably and avoid letting conflicts become far too entrenched. When conflicts arise, take the time to talk things out and make sure that you’re honest to each other.
For, as John Gottman stated all too plainly, “Why waste your time seething for a week when you can sort it out?”
Find out what unusual issues married couples fight about here.
