Has your partner, friends, or family members done something that has really irritated you? Has it made you question whether they deserve to be given a second chance?
This could be something big or something small, but they’ve crossed a line and are making you wonder. Should you give them second chance? Before making your decision, you might wish to examine a few ‘tests’ they must pass.
in this article, you’ll read:
- What is forgiveness?
- Questions to ask before giving a second chance
What is forgiveness?
Understanding what forgiveness is not is just as crucial as defining what forgiveness is.
Experts who study or teach forgiveness make it clear that when you forgive, you do not minimise or dismiss the severity of an offence committed against you.
Forgiveness does not imply forgetting or accepting or excusing wrongdoing.
Though forgiveness might aid in the mending of a broken relationship, it does not require you to reconnect with the person who wronged you or absolve them of legal responsibility.
Here are six easy questions to ask yourself…
1. Have they admitted their mistake?
The first step is to admit that they have harmed you. It sounds straightforward, yet many people are too proud to acknowledge they have made a mistake.
They might think you are overreacting by being outraged about nothing. Or they might try to sweep it under the rug. If your partner admits to making a mistake, this is a really good indicator.
Nobody wants to be with someone who pretends not to notice how they are feeling.
2. Did they apologise?
Apologising demonstrates that they are not deceiving you or disregarding your sentiments. They are accepting responsibility by apologising for how they have made you feel. They will apologise without your having to tell them that they have upset you.
Unfortunately, this is not always the case, so consider how they apologise and how it makes you feel. Accepting an apology should not be done hastily.
You can’t undo your acceptance of it. You can’t spit in their face or continue to dislike them after they have apologised and you’ve accepted it.
Take it slow — if the apology is real, it will still be there after you’ve had some time to absorb your emotions.
3. Are they expressing concern?
Saying sorry is fine, but actions speak louder than words!
Maybe they’ve apologised, and you feel good about it, but they keep doing things that upset you. Or perhaps they make a joke about whatever they did to irritate you.
If they don’t act as if they’re sorry for hurting you, their apology will be hollow. They must show that they regret their conduct and are sorry for what they did.
It doesn’t mean they have to go full martyr, but they should show some remorse.
4. Are they attempting to make a positive change?
If they’re going about their business as usual, you’ll probably feel the same…
…which these days may indicate you’re on edge or scared that they will cheat, deceive, or do whatever irritates you in the first place. To avoid that sensation, you must see them actively attempting to demonstrate that they have changed for the better.
In any situation, they must prove that they are invested in being with you and that they are capable of changing their bad behavior.
5. Are they determined to make things work?
You’ll be able to tell if their behavior is half-hearted pretty quickly.
Sure, they would make an attempt to show they’ve improved for the first week, but if they want a second chance, they need to prove themselves.
That entails implementing larger and longer-term adjustments.
They must demonstrate an emotional investment in your relationship and a desire for it to succeed, whatever that means to you.
They should be asking how you are feeling, how they can improve things for you, and how they can make you feel safe.
After all, being offered a second chance, they must prove that they deserve it.
6. Do they value you and your point of view?
There will be no dialogue unless they respect you enough. Even if you cry your emotions out, the person will continue to take you for granted. Consider the time you spent together.
Did they ask for your feedback? Or did they respond favorably when you shared your thoughts on certain issues?
A partnership without respect is also not the finest sort. You must respect one another. They should be interested in you and your ideas. They can’t speak down to you.
In a romantic partnership, there should be equality. Did you have a sense of equality? In the partnership, did you feel appreciated and respected? You get to pick the second season of the relationship, so pick wisely.
Also read: The Kiss and Makeup Strategy Can Balance Your Relationship