Postnatal or postpartum depression could affect as many as one in 10 men within the first year that their child was born.
In this article, you’ll read:
- Men who have postnatal depression
- Symptoms of postpartum depression in men
- When to seek help
Postnatal or postpartum depression is a common mental health illness that women experience after giving birth. However, experiencing depression is not only limited to new mums. Men can experience postpartum depression too.
According to BBC Scotland, one in 10 fathers experience depression within the first year the baby comes out. There could be depressive episodes in the first year or the first few months of having the baby.
Men who have postpartum depression
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Months after his second child was born, Peter Dives experienced depression. However, he hid it from everyone around him.
“It was the darkest time of my life,” Peter said.
It became more difficult for him to cope with depression as he also suffered from an injury the day after his baby was born.
“I woke up every morning with a knot in my stomach. I felt like there was a big dark cloud following me about,” he shared.
“I went into a bit of a rut after that,” he added.
Peter was not comfortable seeing a doctor to tell about his condition. He didn’t want to tell anybody what he was going through for about five months after his child was born.
Nobody knew about Peter’s condition until he went to his mum’s home and cried on her couch. Peter says,
“She dragged me through to the kitchen; I was sobbing on her shoulder for 15 minutes.A lot of stuff came out about how I was feeling, and it felt good sharing that with somebody.”
Both mum and dad experienced postnatal depression
Both Keith Lonsdale and his wife Alice suffered from postnatal depression for months after their second child was born. Keith was worried that he could not support his family the way he wanted.
While the dad of two was suffering from depressive episodes himself, his wife got hospitalised twice due to postnatal depression.
During those times, Keith struggled to cope and be there to support everyone who needed him. He had just signed off from his job as a civil public servant because of stress and anxiety.
Alice, Keith’s wife, said,
“His bosses at the time just couldn’t understand – they just didn’t see that he was missing his daughter…
That his wife and daughter had been put in a mental health unit. He had very limited access to us, and his work couldn’t understand why he would want to be with us.”
Postpartum depression in men
Image source: iStock
A study from Sweden says that a significant number of fathers suffered from postnatal depression in the past 10 years. They experience depressive episodes and struggled with their mental health during their early parenthood.
The common reasons why men might experience depression after their baby is born
New mums and new dads could have similarities in the reason why they experience depression. It includes the following:
- Extra responsibility
- Change to routine and lifestyle
- Financial pressure
- Stress on the relationship
- Fatigue and lack of sleep
- If his partner is also suffering from postnatal depression
16 Symptoms of postpartum depression in men
Just like us mums, our partners may exhibit the following signs of postnatal depression:
- Feeling sad and hopeless.
- Constant exhaustion or numbness.
- Not wanting to do anything.
- Feeling unable to cope.
- Feeling guilty for not being happy or for not coping.
- Worrying that you don’t love your baby enough.
- Being easily irritated.
- Crying or wanting to cry more than usual.
- Not wanting to eat or being unable to eat.
- Binge eating.
- Finding it difficult to sleep.
- Lack of interest in your partner and/or baby.
- Anxiety and/or panic attacks.
- Find it difficult to make decisions.
- Have worrying thoughts about harming yourself or your baby.
- Thinking about death.
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When to seek help?
It is normal for mum and dad to feel tired and anxious, especially when they are just new parents. However, if you feel really down and it is getting the most out of you, it would probably be the time to seek help.
According to Dr Selena Gleadow-Ware, a consultant psychiatrist who chairs the perinatal faculty at the Royal College of Psychiatrists in Scotland,
“Men may be much less likely to talk about or feel comfortable sharing how they’re feeling, so it often goes as an under-recognised or hidden problem.”
How is paternal depression treated?
There are a few treatment options for PND:
- Talking therapies and counselling
- Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
- Support groups
- Medication such as antidepressants
- Self-help
It could be a little hard for men to open up and speak their minds. However, there could be times when you feel like you need help and support from other people.
Always remember that no one will think that you are weak for asking for support when you need it.
Image source: iStock
