Playing favourites or being a fair parent: What are you doing?
Parents often insist that they don't play favorites with their children. In reality, they're usually lying. In conjunction with Sibling's day, let's read on and take the poll below...Can favouritism be avoided?
Has your youngest ever bickered about how much you love your first-born more than him? Or perhaps you have heard your eldest complain that you constantly lavish all your attention on his younger brother?
Before you brush off their statements as normal childhood insecurities, stop and listen to what they are saying –as there might be some truth to it! Like it or not, parents do practise among their children.
Time magazine recently ran an article which stated that mummies and daddies do play favouritism and the golden child tends to either be the oldest or the youngest.
Preferring one child or another is also based on numerous other factors. I for one am my mother’s favourite; well proven when my siblings do their sing-song of how my mum could never say no to me. But really, sometimes to be the apple of her eye is a hard work involving many distinctions, athletic skills and being the pace setter among siblings.
Many would agree the older one carries the tag of responsibility and setting examples whilst the youngest, plays the manipulative cry baby in getting away with things.
Not a good idea
Last year, theasianparent.com ran an article on Which one is your favourite, Mom? The article based on a study research conducted by Karl Pillemer found there are negative impacts on a child’s psychology when favouritism is practised.
Preferences practised by parents do lead to another sticky situation–sibling rivalry. Parents do want what is best for all their children and they do love them, though not equally. Although so, sibling rivalry does spell for trouble but not always as Jeffrey Kluger, the author of The Sibling Effect, in an interview describes how sibling rivalry shapes your social interaction while you were growing up.
He explains further in an interview with comedycentral the behavioural pattern is shaped through the order of birth.
Also read: 10 ways to handle sibling rivalry