No one is immune to offensive comments. Whether they mean to or not, some of those we consider friends will eventually say something that irks us.
Over on theAsianparent Community, parents shared some of the most “annoying” things they’ve heard from their non-parent friends. Their experiences ranged from dealing with unsolicited advice to unfair judgments about being a stay-at-home parent.
Here are the some of the upsetting things that non-parents have said to them since they had kids.
“Sleep when the baby sleeps”
Jeslyn L. once heard this from a well-meaning friend: “You are burnt out because you only focus on being a mum. You should get some time to be yourself.”
“Sleep when the baby sleeps” was the unsolicited piece of advice Mikaela S. received.
Some questions which may seem innocent enough (since it’s coming from non-parents) but it can be invasive for parents, especially those who are private. Like Shuwen P. who shared that she was once asked why she stopped breastfeeding. She thought it was in the same league as being asked why she got pregnant.
“Why are you still breastfeeding?”
Michelle C. and Alyssa F. both experienced the opposite: a friend had asked incredulously why she was still breastfeeding.
For L.T. Goh, it was comments about her baby’s weight which upset her.
“Why are you never free to go out?”
Jamie G. had to respond to friends who were baffled as to why she never has the time or energy to go out.
While Grace N.’s friends suggested that she should just leave her kids with “hubby” so they can sing karaoke all night.
Alice J. had to explain to her friends why, as a mum, she had to be home at a certain time.
“You look like you haven’t slept in days…”
Explaining why you’re exhausted can get, well, exhausting.
“You look like you haven’t slept in days,” commented one of Roshni M.’s friends.
While, Jess L. had to explain that household helpers don’t come with magic wands when a friend expressed her disbelief saying, “You have a maid, why are you still so tired?”
“You’re a stay-at-home mum? Your life must be easy.”
This is a common misconception Jo-An L. has to bear.
Jasmine C. can relate because some of her friends also admitted to being envious of her “easy life” as a stay-at-home parent: “So good that you don’t have to go work, just stay at home,” they’d tell her.
But she clarifies that staying at home with the kids is hard work and it doesn’t end. Being a mum is a 24/7 role and there are no leaves or public holidays.
It’s not just non-parents who are guilty of this. Sometimes, parents themselves can be judgmental towards their fellow parents without even realising it.
The important thing is valuing kindness and compassion with our words and having an open mind, patiently understanding where the other person is coming from while knowing we are all in the same boat, childless or not.
If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the topic, please share them in our Comment box below.
