X
theAsianparent Logo
theAsianparent Logo
  • Pregnancy
    • Due date calculator
    • I'm pregnant
    • Trying To Conceive
    • Labour
    • After birth
    • Baby loss
  • Parenting
    • Parenting & Play by Friso
    • Parent's Guide
    • Relationship & Sex
  • Ages & Stages
    • Baby
    • Toddler
    • Pre-schooler
    • Kids
    • Pre-teen & Teen
  • Feeding & Nutrition
    • Diseases-Injuries
    • Breastfeeding & Formula
    • Meal Planner
    • Health
    • Allergies & Conditions
    • Vaccinations
  • Education
    • Pre-School
    • Primary School
    • Secondary School
  • Lifestyle
    • Money
    • Travel & Leisure
    • Fashion
    • Home
    • Fitness
    • Contests & promotions
  • News
    • International
    • Health
    • Celebrity
    • Singapore
  • Money Parenting
    • Tips for Parents
    • Tips for Toddlers
    • Tips for Older Kids
    • The 5 Personas
  • TAP Recommends
  • Shopping
  • Press Releases
  • Project Sidekicks
  • Community
  • Advertise With Us
  • Contact Us
  • Become A Contributor
  • VIP

Open Letter to My 4-year-old: I’m Sorry for Being a Hot-Tempered Mother

4 min read
Open Letter to My 4-year-old: I’m Sorry for Being a Hot-Tempered MotherOpen Letter to My 4-year-old: I’m Sorry for Being a Hot-Tempered Mother

Because Mummy needs to learn to chill out every once in a while

Dear kid,

Mummy’s going to tell you something very important:

I’m sorry.

You’ve been taught and constantly reminded to say that whenever you make a mistake.

But I don’t say it enough to you. It’s always the other way around: me demanding you to apologize for the littlest of things. “Say sorry for spilling your juice!” “Say sorry for leaving your toys all over the floor!” “Say sorry for breaking Mummy’s lipstick!”

And now I’m saying it to you: I’m sorry.

Because I am a grumpy mum. A hot-tempered one.

I am stern, strict, impatient. I yell, I scold in public, I squeeze your wrist (sometimes firm enough to make you squirm).

I recall one afternoon when my temper got the best of me three times in a span of two hours. We were in a shopping mall and, you being you, you were crisscrossing your legs as you skipped and hopped, playing an imaginary game by yourself. When you tripped and fell, I instantly yelled, “I told you to walk properly or you’ll fall and hurt yourself!” and yanked your hand to pull you up to stand.

Not long after that, I gave you another tongue lashing inside a furniture store. You called out to me, “Oh, Mummy! A twirling ballerina in a jewellery box!” before you picked it up and dropped it, breaking the legs and scratching the varnish. After I paid for the damaged item, I howled at you, “I told you not to touch things that aren’t yours!” in front of the store employees.

And I snapped once more while we ate dinner at a restaurant. Pinky finger up while drinking from your glass, you were pretending to be a princess, and then, “Oopsie, Mummy. I spilled the water,” you quietly confessed. I knew you expected another scolding, which I didn’t fail to deliver. “I told you to hold your drink with two hands! Now, look at the mess you made!” I snarled.

I didn’t care then, too absorbed in making you understand that you made a mistake and shouldn’t make it again – but each time I spoke sharply to you, I saw the brightness in your face dim by a fraction.

We came home that day – I was haggard and cranky, and yet you remained your easygoing and chipper self. “Home sweet home!” you exclaimed, while I groaned, shuffled myself to the bedroom, and fell face-first onto the bed.

Open Letter to My 4-year-old: Im Sorry for Being a Hot-Tempered Mother

Image source: iStock

At that moment, all I wanted was a break from you, from dealing with your little accidents, from having to scold you constantly for your little blunders.

A few minutes later you lay down beside me. You were all smiles and still wanted my company even after the surly ways I berated you. Brightened up by your sunny mood, I couldn’t help but feel thankful for having a kid whose spirit couldn’t easily be broken. And I realized then that the break I needed, really, was a break from myself.

I don’t want that to be that mum – quick-tempered, angry, impatient, yelling all the time. I don’t want my ill behaviour to become the norm in your eyes, for you to accept that that’s the way a mummy is. It’s not.

Mummy will now get off her uptight high horse and remind herself (over and over) that you’re just a kid. Only four years old. At this age, you’re bound to make mistakes and you’re meant to test your limits – even if it means testing mine.

How else can you know the difference between what’s right and what’s unacceptable? What better way to learn the consequences of your actions if not to allow you to make your blunders and face a few mishaps?

Parents want to protect their children from all types of harm, but sometimes we don’t realize that we could do more harm if we don’t learn to let go and let them find their way.

My over-the-top concern that comes off as impatience and quick temper may come from a good place, but really, Mummy just needs to learn to chill out. Instead of giving a quick reprimand of, “I told you…” the first three words to come out of my mouth should be, “Are you okay?”

But for now, I have three important words to say:

“I am sorry.”

And no matter how much I may fly off the handle, remember these even more important three words that I will forever express with my heart, mind, and soul:

“I love you.”

Partner Stories
School Holiday Offers 101 – Awesome Deals Across Shopping, Travel and Dining with Citi Credit Cards
School Holiday Offers 101 – Awesome Deals Across Shopping, Travel and Dining with Citi Credit Cards
Looking for Fun June Holiday Activities? Take Your Kids to City Square Mall to Meet Hello Kitty and My Melody
Looking for Fun June Holiday Activities? Take Your Kids to City Square Mall to Meet Hello Kitty and My Melody
Fun for All Ages: Best Family-Friendly Vacation Spots in Australia This School Holiday
Fun for All Ages: Best Family-Friendly Vacation Spots in Australia This School Holiday
Changi Experience Studio’s ‘A Night at the Airport’ Family Camp and Other Fun Programmes Return to Jewel This June Holidays
Changi Experience Studio’s ‘A Night at the Airport’ Family Camp and Other Fun Programmes Return to Jewel This June Holidays

Got a parenting concern? Read articles or ask away and get instant answers on our app. Download theAsianparent Community on iOS or Android now!

img
Written by

Carla Perlas

  • Home
  • /
  • Parenting
  • /
  • Open Letter to My 4-year-old: I’m Sorry for Being a Hot-Tempered Mother
Share:
  • Mum Writes An Open Letter To Firstborn Child: "I Miss Us"

    Mum Writes An Open Letter To Firstborn Child: "I Miss Us"

  • A Mum's Passionate Letter To Her Daughter About Crazy Hot Sex

    A Mum's Passionate Letter To Her Daughter About Crazy Hot Sex

  • Singaporean Sugar Baby Spills The Beans On What Life Is Like With A Sugar Daddy

    Singaporean Sugar Baby Spills The Beans On What Life Is Like With A Sugar Daddy

  • 5 Ways A Narcissistic Parent Can Negatively Affect A Child's Personality

    5 Ways A Narcissistic Parent Can Negatively Affect A Child's Personality

app info
get app banner
Author Image

Carla Perlas

Carla is the SVP of content at theAsianparent, a mum of two rambunctious daughters, and proud home cook!
  • Mum Writes An Open Letter To Firstborn Child: "I Miss Us"

    Mum Writes An Open Letter To Firstborn Child: "I Miss Us"

  • A Mum's Passionate Letter To Her Daughter About Crazy Hot Sex

    A Mum's Passionate Letter To Her Daughter About Crazy Hot Sex

  • Singaporean Sugar Baby Spills The Beans On What Life Is Like With A Sugar Daddy

    Singaporean Sugar Baby Spills The Beans On What Life Is Like With A Sugar Daddy

  • 5 Ways A Narcissistic Parent Can Negatively Affect A Child's Personality

    5 Ways A Narcissistic Parent Can Negatively Affect A Child's Personality

Get advice on your pregnancy and growing baby. Sign up for our newsletter
  • Pregnancy
    • Baby
    • Education
    • Events
    • Allergies & Conditions
  • Family Occasions
    • Breastfeeding & Formula
    • Child Safety
    • Health
    • Diseases-Injuries
  • Lifestyle
    • Home
    • Money
    • Feeding & Nutrition
    • Diet & Weightloss
  • Normal Delivery
    • Cesarean Delivery
    • Behaviour
    • Secondary School
    • Formula Feeding
  • Ages & Stages
    • Latching & Concerns
    • Festivals & Holidays
    • Education
    • Pre-teen & Teen
  • More
    • TAP Community
    • Advertise With Us
    • Contact Us
    • Become a Contributor


  • Singapore flag Singapore
  • Thailand flag Thailand
  • Indonesia flag Indonesia
  • Philippines flag Philippines
  • Malaysia flag Malaysia
  • Sri-Lanka flag Sri Lanka
  • India flag India
  • Vietnam flag Vietnam
  • Australia flag Australia
  • Japan flag Japan
  • Nigeria flag Nigeria
  • Kenya flag Kenya
© Copyright theAsianparent 2022. All rights reserved
About Us|Team|Privacy Policy|Terms of Use |Sitemap HTML
  • Tools
  • Articles
  • Feed
  • Poll

We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

theAsianparent heart icon
We’d like to send you notifications for the latest news and lifestyle updates.