Pregnancy, giving birth and caring for a baby are exhausting. Given this, it’s not surprising that for many new mothers, no sex after pregnancy – for some time at least – is common.
It’s not just the sheer tiredness a woman feels from caring for a baby. It’s also the fluctuating, changing hormones in her body that combine to kill her libido. Fathers generally understand this. Except for one sad excuse of a father who, rejected in bed by his wife, took out his anger on his helpless, innocent baby.
For a new mother, no sex after pregnancy for some time is normal. And new dads need to understand this.
What Happened that Fateful Night
Reports have emerged of a young dad who killed his six-month-old son, all because his wife refused to have sex with him.
Twenty-five-year-old Brazilian man Maycon Salustiano Silva was arrested earlier this month for the shocking crime. He was charged on the grounds of shooting his own child after having an argument with his 20-year-old wife, Jeniffer in Luziania, Brazil.
Grievously injured by the attack from his own father, baby Michel was brought to hospital a full two hours later, say reports. Sadly, it was too late, and the baby boy was pronounced dead.
Investigations revealed that a .22 caliber pistol, with some bullets, were hidden behind the sofa’s padding, which was found in the family’s living room.
Silva, who reportedly stated that he’d been consuming alcohol and smoking marijuana, remarked that he “didn’t remember what happened”.
What Investigators Think
Daniel Martins Ferreira is the Detective in charge of this case. According to David, the police suspected Silva of shooting six-month-old Michel while he was unable to control his anger.
“We believe the suspect, in a moment of rage when he didn’t get what he wanted, shot the child at point blank range by resting the gun on the baby’s chest as he lay in the cot in his parent’s bedroom,” explained Ferreira.
He explained further that, “the mother reported that her husband woke her up and wanted to have sex with her. She said she was tired and ‘did not want to’. He apparently became irritated and physically assaulted her in the argument that followed.”
Halfway through their squabble, Silva reportedly left to get water. However, he came back holding a gun – pointing it at his terrified wife.
The man allegedly threatened to kill her. Jeniffer pleaded for Silva to remain composed. Yet, it only caused Silva to become more incensed.
According to Detective Ferreira, Jeniffer “claims he turned the gun on their son and pointed the gun at his chest while shouting if she believed he had the courage to shoot their child. Then he allegedly shot the baby.”
Police officers were notified of the incident when neighbours called them at 1.30am after hearing Jeniffer’s screams. However, the police couldn’t find the couple’s exact house, and decided to cancel the search.
One of the neighbours, who wished to remain anonymous, claimed that the noise stopped abruptly. “She (the mother) was desperate, she could be heard screaming and shouting for help, then she suddenly stopped, and everything went quiet,” said the neighbour.
Approximately two hours after police were called, an ambulance arrived at the family’s home.
“We don’t know why it took so long for an ambulance to be called out for the child, but the mother claims that after the shooting she blacked out and doesn’t know how long this was for,” Ferreira added.
“Jeniffer said she doesn’t remember screaming and we believe she must have been in a state of shock. When she came around she realised what had happened and called emergency services, but her child was already dead,” he reported.
Baby Michel was their first child.
Silva, who has no criminal record, was arrested and charged with manslaughter and the illegal possession of a weapon. He is also accused of domestic violence.
No Sex After Pregnancy: A New Mother’s Perspective
As mentioned at the start of this article, the birth of a child heralds emotional, physical and hormonal changes in a woman. All these, combined with the physical pain of healing stitches (and more), usually kill a woman’s desire for sex.
For some women, this loss of libido lasts for just a few weeks. Others experience it for longer, even years. It’s normal. And fathers need to understand this.
They need to understand that sex for a new mum can be downright painful, because of:
- vaginal dryness
- painful penetration
- pain during sexual intercourse
- pain on orgasm
- vaginal tightness
- vaginal looseness
- bleeding or irritation after sex
With the tragic news of a little baby’s death, it’s quite clear that more awareness is needed about postpartum issues new mums face. This awareness must be created among new dads too.
At theAsianparent, our hearts go out to the mother at the loss of her baby.
References: Journal of Family Health, Mirror
Charity sex: Why it is essential for a marriage, especially after having a baby!
Sex after pregnancy
Sex after delivery: Let’s talk about it
10 things you should know about sex after giving birth
Sex after having a baby? Here are 8 ways to make it better