Mum myth 1: You’ll finish laundry (or your to-do list)
No, no you won’t. At least probably not for the 18 years per child in your home. And perhaps not even after that. You might get “caught up” on that pesky laundry, but trust me, it simply will not ever, ever be finished. Unless your children are like mine and decide that wearing the same outfit is the way to go. Yeah, we’re working on that, but honestly, it happens. As far as the to-do list? It’s a rolling in motion never to be completed
Unless your children are like mine and decide that wearing the same outfit is the way to go. Yeah, we’re working on that, but honestly, it happens. As far as the to-do list? It’s a rolling in motion never to be completed task.
Mum myth 2: Books teach sleep schedules (and other parenting issues solved in twelve steps)
They do not. They give ideas. Sleep and night and trying to get a child to sleep through the night or go to bed or any of it can be an incredibly hair-pulling challenge. I know you will hear from parents who will tell you that their child never had an issue with bedtime.
I think they wrote the books. For the rest of us here’s the truth – learn from the book, try the stuff and stock up on patience. Unlike laundry, this will end – when they are teenagers you will have the exact opposite problem as now you will need to undergo the task of waking them.
As far as the rest of the books? Get ideas but adapt for your family. Wait. For each kid.
Mum myth 3: Coffee will stay warm (also known as ‘you will find time for you’ every day)
It just doesn’t. I think I need to heat mine up at least three times per cup. That’s a sure sign of motherhood. That giving, giving, giving, giving, forgetting about the things we love and going back to the giving.
My temporary solution? Thermos for the coffee. Then I set it down and forget where I set it down. Chances are it’s in the laundry room… As far as finding time for you? Little moments matter. An extra five minutes in the shower. The long way home. That cat nap. Wait, that doesn’t happen. You get the picture.
Mum myth 4: Kids keep their rooms clean
They just don’t. They’re kids. It doesn’t matter if you have the best organisation system in the world and cute totes and so on. That folded laundry that you finally put away? If they’re looking for a shirt they are like a cyclone rummaging through that drawer.
And as mine have gotten older I’ve started to realise that part of being a kid is making a mess – despite my aversion to messy rooms. Making messes is part of learning and creating and, you guessed it, learning responsibility when it’s time to clean.
Mum myth 5: You’ll only feed them healthy food
Okay, this might end up like the fruit cup debacle here, but the truth is that for 98% of us mums we’re going to have times when we are simply grateful for little fruit snacks in bags. Or for the Easter candy that we raid after they go to bed.
We do our best. You do your best. I once had a friend tell me to follow the 80/20 rule – 80% good for the 20% of freedom. So some nights here it’s homemade and some nights it’s gluten free overpriced chicken nuggets and OreIda fries. Once again – do your best.
Mum myth 6: You will never utter the classic go-to parenting phrases
Accept it now – out of your lips will probably exit the words ‘because I said so’. Just face it now, deal with it and move on. Same with ‘when I was young’ or any of the classic parenting phrases. It’s the follow through that stops issues.
But don’t stop using ‘because I said so’ because I said so.
Mum myth 7: Potty training can be easy
Please refer back to the one about sleep can be taught via a book.
Mum myth 8: Savour every moment
Sometimes there is way too much pressure on us mums to embrace every moment. Well, the plain and simple truth is that not every moment is awesome. There are moments that are just plain hard (see number eight) and the pressure to suck the marrow of joy out of everything is exhausting.
Give yourself grace. Let’s just go ahead and list non-awesome moments: potty training, throw up, bodily fluids anywhere, fighting kids, overwhelm moments, when someone stops over and your house looks like you haven’t cleaned or done laundry in a week and so on…. Now, look for the good tucked in-between.
Mum myth 9: Socks, shoes and any other pair item will remain a pair
From me, the mum, whose children have successfully lost the match to shoes, boots, socks and gloves. I used to think they were super talented and then I heard that so many of you also have this issue of motherhood.
Mum myth 10: You’ll do all the things you told yourself you’d never do
Yeah, I’m there with you. I thought that I’d be the mum whose kids don’t know McDonald’s or that we’d only have learning type of toys and those summer months would be spent with moments of super creative exploring. The truth?
They know McDonald’s a little bit (tough when you can’t eat gluten) and we have electronics (which they figured out when they were little) and summer months are a mix of everything. Motherhood is a great deal of letting go and learning new things and giving oneself grace.
This goes along with all those parenting phrases you never thought you’d utter.
Mum myth 11: When they get older it gets easier
Truthfully? Whatever stage you’re in has its challenges. And anyone who tells you just wait until this stage or when they get older it gets easier and all of that is just trying to tell you something to help in the moment. But honestly?
When you’re potty training or helping a child learn to drive or doing homework or trying to get them to go to sleep or folding your laundry while they’re fighting over a Wii remote or whatever you’re doing in that moment it’s challenging. Motherhood is the roller coaster ride – sometimes it’s easier and sometimes it’s peaceful and sometimes it’s awesome and so on. Hold on. Tight.
Mum myth 12: You will always like your children
Truth: You will always love your children. But, there are moments when it’s really hard to like a raging three-year-old who is throwing a tantrum in Target because you said, as you always say, no to the toy place conveniently at eye level even though you talked about the expectation before you went in. It’s okay.
Deep down we love them like crazy. Maybe we don’t like the choices they’re making. That’s where you being a mum is truly amazing – you suck it up, pick up the child, pay for your food, buckle them in, count to ten, and move on. That and all the other mum moments like that are what makes you awesome.
So there you go, 12 mum myths of the hundreds debunked today.
Make sure to add your own or share with a friend who needs to hear a mum fact today. It just might come from you.
Article originally published on: Findingjoy.net