'My mother-in-law is living with us, but I want her out of my house'

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"Unless both the wife and husband do something about it, the mother-in-law will only continue to feed off of their generosity."

For many families, either a wife or a husband’s extended family is part of their household. It’s an arrangement that should work in theory, but rarely so in practice. Take for example one woman’s situation. Her mother-in-law has moved in with her and her husband.

Because the MIL has lost her job, she is not paying her rent. And yet despite this, she feels very entitled and she doesn’t even make it a point to help around the house.

Now the wife could no longer take it, and she wants her mother-in-law out of the house. If you find yourself in a similar situation, you’re in luck.

This is the dilemma Mama Mia’s segment “Ask Bossy” aims to resolve this week.

The woman’s letter reads:

My mother-in-law has been living with us for six weeks now. She lost her job and couldn’t afford to pay her ridiculous amount of rent. She’s in complete denial of her situation. Ever since she left my husbands dad 12 years ago, she’s always had people giving her cars, getting her jobs, helping her out. So much so that she just expects everyone to do things for her and she’s never grateful for any of it. Since she moved in she hasn’t once made us dinner. She only does her dishes, not ours, and she doesn’t help out with anything around the house. Our house is tiny and she’s living in my sons room whose two and a half years old. Which means he sleeps in our room in our bed every night. Her 17-year-old daughter is also staying with us. Her presence is draining. And I’m sick of having her in our space all the time. When is it okay for me to ask her to leave?

So how do you exactly resolve this situation?

According to Ask Bossy, you may find yourself trapped; because the MIL doesn’t have an active income and doesn’t have a home, she’s basically homeless.

Both the woman and her husband has a responsibility to look after her; after all, she is still family and they should respect her.

Unless both the wife and husband do something about it, Bossy says, the MIL will only continue to feed off of their generosity.

“The only way you are going to get out of this now is with a plan,” Bossy says. “You and your husband need to sit down first and discuss what you are going to do.

“You need a timeline and you need to work out how you pretty much are going to direct this ship. 

“You need to direct the ship to get her out of there because she is not going to direct it herself. She doesn’t know how or has no desire to do that.”

 

Republished with permission from: theAsianparent Philippines