We’re all ready nearly halfway through 2016, and it seems as though everything keeps changing….fast!
Between elections and new world leaders, scientific breakthroughs like NASA’s Juno reaching Jupiter, the ever growing popularity of virtual reality, etc. There’s a lot of change and it’s happening at an alarming rate.
With all the new and exciting things happening on a daily basis, there a few constants. One significant thing this world will always, and has always needed, are good dads.
While we’ll always need good dads in society, the very definition of a “good dad” has evolved with the times. In 2016, traditional understandings of masculinity, gender roles, and family structure have all been forced to “get with the times”.
So what does it mean to be a good dad in 2016?
Author Doug French and entrepreneur John Pacini, created Dad 2.0 Summit in an effort to answer that very question. Together with the help of bloggers worldwide, and members of the media, the group looks to develop the end all definition of what it means to be a dad as of 2016.
Check out what challenges modern dads must face, and what it means to be a “good dad” as told by Doug French and the collective minds of the Dad 2.0 Summit:
Dads are expected to integrate their life and work in a way that women have for decades
“As parenting becomes an even playing field, or as we approach that, we hold the idea that it’s just as important and worthwhile to take women seriously in positions of power and in the office. And it’s just as important, in a symmetrical way, to take dads seriously as parents and caregivers.”
Caring for somebody is an important aspect of masculinity
“[Sociologist] Michael Kimmel, our keynote speaker from last year, said that the biggest impediment to men embracing this role is other men. Because there are still perceptions among men and a cultural shift needs to happen; for example, men get access to paternity leave in record amounts but they’re still not taking it. It’s one thing to offer [paternity leave] but it’s another thing to have it become associated with the normal course of business and something that every man should do.”
What does it mean to be a good dad today? Read more and find out!
Don’t worry about how the media portrays men
“You can look at music videos, advertising, social networking, sports – they’re coming along. Over half of men think that there’s still work to be done in these areas. You just do you, be the best dad you can be, and all this other stuff is going to catch up.”
Younger men don’t subscribe to gender roles
“I think that Millennial couples know the importance of playing to your strengths and doing whatever you can to make things work. If the woman can make more money, or if the dad’s better off taking care of kids, it doesn’t matter what gender you are as long as you get what needs to be done, done.”
I want my sons to have empathy for people
“I harbour the quixotic idea that I can still raise gentlemen in this culture. I want them to recognise that when someone disagrees with you it might not necessarily be from a malicious viewpoint – there’s a whole binary idea of heroes and villains that doesn’t really work, because it’s just varying viewpoints. If you can teach your children about nuance, about being aware of another person’s humanity, that’s what creates the men that I want my boys to be.”
Being overly protective with your daughter doesn’t show much faith
The idea of a boy arriving at the house to pick up his date for the night, and the dad showing up with a baseball bat – it doesn’t say much about the faith you have in your daughter to conduct her own business. Also it’s not healthy to assume that every boy in your daughter’s life is a predator. We know that happens, unfortunately, but it’s just as wrong to project predatory instincts on a boy as it is to project promiscuity on a girl.”
It’s important for men to set an example
“I’ve got to the point now where my sons are going to learn a lot more from my example than from me lecturing. When I talk to them now it’s like ‘meh meh meh’. They have to see what I’m doing and that’s how they learn.”
What does it mean to be a good dad today? Read more and find out!
Recognise that there are lots of other dads who can help you
“One the great things about the internet and this conference is that there’s so many ways to find your tribe, your brothers, and the people who can help you through this. Acknowledge the fact that you don’t know what you’re doing and that we’re all struggling. There is gallantry in the struggle, the desire to learn more, and to be engaged with your kids. It’s the most rewarding thing in the world.”
Single dads must build a structure for their kids
“That’s what I did when I first split up with my ex-wife: tell them what’s going to happen and make sure it happens. Then they will build up a faith in the new structure, realise there’s a floor beneath their feet, and they’ll be fine. As a single dad I’m very grateful because my ex-wife and I are actually more functional as co-parents than we ever were as spouses. But it’s a drag not to love the woman who bore your children and I wish I still loved her in the way that I did when we married. But my sons know that both their mum and I love them to death.”
I want to show my boys that this is just me as a flawed human
“…but a human doing his level best. If you’re at home with that in your heart, if your purpose on this earth is this energy, the rest will take care of itself. There’s this whole idea that your dad has to be your hero, and I think that helps to a point, but ultimately you don’t learn from heroes – you learn from people whom you want to emulate.”
Obviously, a lot has changed over time. Even in the realm of parenting. But if your parenting skills match up with these guidelines, there’s no doubt that you’re a good dad in today’s world.
This article was originally posted by Ask Men
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