A very belated good morning to all readers out there. I shall apologize firstly for my tardiness as my busy CEO work schedule has taken me to another continent. Where it was cold and miserable last fortnight when the cruel Australian winter laughed at my misery, it’s warm and humid from where I am today as I’m blogging from Singapore!
Yay! Singapore, a country where both my employees sought solace from the harsh outside world and grew up in. Singapore, a country where rapid modernization means going out for business each day is never the same as the previous, as both my employees seem to love exclaiming “Wow this wasn’t here the last time we were here!”
Yes it’s hard to believe that I, Levi Matara-Ng, CEO of Home and all of four months of age is a jet-setting and globe-trotting CEO. My business is growing and I am flushed with opportunities so I am taking my business to Asia. My first stop is Singapore and who knows where I shall be in the next forseeable future?
CEOs around the world lead very busy lives. I am no different. Before leaving for Singapore I acquired a special CEO skill requiring me to turn while lying flat on my back. I am strong enough to turn to my side, but so far have not developed enough strength to flip to my front without assistance. How exciting it is for me! I look forward to flipping onto my front soon!
My male employee John took me to the local post office to pick up a very important document. Turns out, to get through unscathed into another country a document called a passport is needed. I'm just glad my passport is blue in colour; both my employees have different coloured passports so I feel kind of special!
As CEO of Home I only get the best service and attention. How else would you fly to Singapore but on one of the world’s best, Singapore Airlines herself! My male employee John constantly tells me how lucky I was to fly Singapore Airlines as he has never flown Singapore Airlines his entire life, citing the prohibitive cost as a reason. Well that’s why I’m the CEO and you’re my employee MUAHAHAHAHA!
We arrived in Singapore in the first week of July and found ourselves in a country gripped by World Cup fever. It's the last week of the football festivities and although Australia is no longer in the World Cup, I arrived in my female employee Michele's home to be greeted by a special banner with a World Cup theme. How exciting! Do all CEOs get treated this way? I'm liking this!
Singapore has many peculiarities, and here’s one of them. Back in my country children under six months of age are required to be strapped into car seats backside front. Here in Singapore I’m seated frontside back. I’m used to looking out the window staring at the road behind us, but now I’m looking ahead of the road while admiring my male employee John’s driving skills.
For four months of my life my employees have dressed me up in funky winter outfits. I enjoy looking fashionable while my wrinkly chubby fats are nicely concealed under layers of clothing. However, here in Singapore, singlet tops are all the rage and my female employee Michele has seen it fit to dress me in the same hues as Kermit the Frog. Not only that, my chubby fat rolls are now visible for all to see. How depressing!
The cuisine here is really strange as well. There are large neon coloured stalls selling all kinds of strange foods, Often they are displayed in strange languages with weird symbols and spelling. If you think that strange, you have not seen the massive grins on my employees’ faces. Michele and John truly enjoy eating them. In fact it’s all they have been eating all day everyday since they arrived in Singapore. Whatever happened to good old fashioned pizzas, pastas and chips?!
On the subject of singlet tops, I might have reservations about them but I quite enjoy wearing them. In the madness of this tropical heat they allow my skin to breathe and I sleep in the air-conditioned comforts of my king-sized bed while clad in a top and nappy. It's not as bitterly cold as the Australian winter, so I sleep easy.
There are so many bright lights and sounds along Singapore's famous shopping belt Orchard Road. Both my employees spent a few days here as new shopping malls seem to pop up every few years and they thoroughly enjoyed the shopping experience. I can't say I had much fun as I was too knackered and slept through most afternoons. Going out everyday is tough work!
I have been travelling around Singapore on their famed ‘world class’ transport system. I must say compared to back home Singaporeans are so lucky to have a system that is efficient, runs on time, cheap and most of all reliable. Here I am waiting for a bus; I guess you can tell how excited I am. Just don’t ask me who taught me how to stick my tongue out this way!
I have been in Singapore for just over a fortnight now and wow dare I say I must be one hell of a CEO as everybody wants to see me. Now when I say everybody, I meant E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y. All of them have got an opinion about me. I’ve got random people whom I have never seen before coming up to me asking if I’m a girl. Excuse me, do I look like a girl? They follow it up with an innocuous reference to the size of my eyes, suggesting my huge eyes misled them into thinking I am a girl.
Ehm…surely there are boy CEOs out there with huge eyes, no?
That isn’t the worst part, though. In the last few weeks I have been absolutely bruised under my armpits as virtual strangers/friends of my employees Michele and John have been passing me around amongst themselves like it’s ‘Passing the Parcel’ game time. Their faces light up with joy when I’m in their arms and I often have to cry and scream as loudly as I can as if to say “Okay playtime is over can I please have breast milk again?”
My holiday in Singapore is tapering towards the tail end and very soon I shall be returning to Australia with my two employees. But until that day arrives I still have so much to explore and so much to say. Look out for the next article as I attempt to negotiate more sights of Singapore!
Editor’s Note: This is part 6 of the fortnightly series.
Episode 1 – Looking Through Levi’s Eyes: The First 40 Days
Episode 5 – Looking Through Levi’s Eyes: Lessons In Life