This little boy was caned to death...by his parents
A little child was just caned to death. Is caning children justifiable? How can parents control the urge to cane their kids?
Sad, sad news, this. A young boy has just been caned to death, apparently by his own parents.
How many strokes of the cane did it take to break his little body and soul? We shudder to imagine.
Little boy caned to death
The shocking incident happened in Malaysia, and a couple has been charged for caning their son to death.
Apparently, the boy's parents took him to a clinic after the torture, where he was pronounced dead. The doctor was stunned to see his body filled with bruise marks, on the face, hands, legs and buttocks; he got suspicious, and immediately contacted the police.
Subang OCPD Asst Comm Mohammad Azlin Sadari has been quoted by The Star Online as saying, "The injuries are believed to have been due to the victim being punched and beaten with a cane."
ACP Mohammad Azlin further revealed that both parents had prior criminal records, "The father, 33, has one drug related record while the mother, 36, has records for cheating and house break-ins. She is also wanted for a theft case in Kuantan."
The cause of death was later confirmed as being due to blunt force trauma.
According to The Straits Times, on June 5, Aaron Teoh Eng Wan, 34, and his wife En Sit Mooi, 36, were charged with 'murdering' their son, 9-year-old Adrian Teoh Wai Kit between 2pm and 3.30pm on May 26. They have also been charged with physically abusing him repeatedly using two canes at the same place, time and date.
No plea was recorded from them, and the duo were unrepresented in court. The Deputy Public Prosecutor did not propose bail for them either.
Our heart breaks to think of the torture this child had to go through...may his soul rest in peace.
How can parents control the urge to cane their kids?
Parents, we understand that the primary objective of caning is discipline. We feel that the reason caning works, is because of its shock value and the clear, deterring message that it sends across almost instantly. We all want our kids to mend their ways, and grow up to be sensible, responsible adults tomorrow.
But what if there was no tomorrow? What if today's rage just destroyed your child's future?
Can we shift to a more non-violent method of discipline instead? Here are some tips:
- Get Calm: You have probably had a really rough day and feel like you are on the verge of losing your mind. When you feel like you are getting out of control, try to leave the situation. Maybe go to another room, but do not leave the room in anger or defeat. You could say, “I’ll be in the next room if you want to talk to me."
If you really can't leave the situation, try the reliable 'count to 10' method for some much needed release.
- Never hit a child when you are angry: You are merely releasing your own frustration, and hitting a child in such a situation will merely lead to physical harm and undesirable consequences. If you can feel that mad rage getting to you, take a time out and ask yourself these questions:
- Why am I going to hit my child?
- What am I trying to teach him?
- What will he really learn?
- Is hitting the only option that I have? Am I going to hit my child to help him reduce the behaviour or am I simply releasing my own anger?
- Can he learn that lesson without me hitting him?
You will find that by simply taking some time out to think about these questions, you have calmed yourself a bit and are now thinking more rationally.
- Be kind but firm: An effective way of discipline is to get down to your child’s level, make eye contact, touch him gently and advise him, in a kind but firm manner. Getting down to your child's eye level automatically makes you less intimidating.
Another alternative to hitting is giving your child a choice between rectifying her mistake and a 'bad' alternative. For example: "Would you like to stop playing with your food or would you like to leave the table?”
- Explain the consequences: Instead of punishing by hitting, aim for making the child accountable for his mistakes. Punishing might merely lead him to be very scared and he may try to cover up or hide his mistakes in future. Instead, emphasise on what the child has learnt from the mistake, and how he can make amends for it. This does good for the child's self esteem.