Latching: How To Get It Right, And What To Do When It Hurts

How do you latch and unlatch your baby during breastfeeding feeds?

If breastfeeding hurts, almost everyone will tell you the same thing: it’s the latch. Which is true, and completely useless, because nobody tells you what a good latch looks like or what to change.

So start here, before anything else.

Your baby latches onto the breast, not just the nipple.

Your baby’s mouth needs to take in a good mouthful of breast tissue, not just the nipple. When the latch is deep, your nipple rests far back in her mouth against the soft palate, where nothing rubs. When it’s shallow, the nipple gets compressed against the hard ridge behind her gums with every suck. That’s exactly what cracked, bleeding nipples are.

Sharp, toe-curling pain is information. It isn’t something to push through, and it isn’t a sign you’re doing badly. It’s a sign the latch is shallow and needs redoing.

How to latch her on

The order makes more difference than people expect. Most latching problems come from bringing the breast to the baby instead of the baby to the breast.

Get yourself comfortable first. Back supported, shoulders down. If you’re hunched over her, you’ll be in pain long before she is.
Bring her to you, tummy to tummy. Her whole body, head, shoulders and hips, should face you in a straight line, held close. If she has to turn her head to reach you, she can’t swallow properly.
Line her nose up with your nipple, not her mouth. This sounds wrong and it’s the part that changes everything. It makes her tip her head back and come up from underneath, which is what produces a deep latch.
Support your breast if it helps, with your palm and fingers well back from the areola. Don’t pinch the nipple or try to push it in.
Brush her top lip with your nipple and wait. She’ll root, then open wide: mouth like a yawn, not a small “o”.
Bring her on quickly at that moment, chin first. Her chin should land in the breast and her nose should be clear or barely touching.

If she opens only a little and you latch her anyway, you’ll get a shallow latch. Wait for the wide open mouth, even if it takes a few goes.

How to tell it’s right


Check	What you want
Pain	Possibly a few seconds of tugging as she latches, then nothing. Comfortable is the target, not tolerable.
Her mouth	Wide open, lips flanged outwards like a fish, not tucked in
Her chin	Pressed into the breast; nose clear or only lightly touching
Her cheeks	Full and rounded, not hollowed or dimpling inwards
The areola	More of it visible above her top lip than below her bottom lip: a sign she’s on off-centre and deep, which is what you want
The sound	Slow, deep sucks and rhythmic swallowing. No clicking or smacking.
Your nipple after	Round and the same shape as before. Not flattened, creased, or lipstick-shaped.

That last one is the most reliable check of all, and you can do it after every feed. A nipple that comes out wedge-shaped or with a white compression line was being pinched.

The signs it isn’t working

Pain that continues through the whole feed, not easing after the first few seconds
Cracked, bleeding or blistered nipples
A clicking or smacking sound: she’s losing suction and re-gripping
She keeps slipping off, or feeds for a very long time and never seems finished
Few or no wet nappies, or slow weight gain
Your breasts never feel softer after a feed

If any of these are happening, unlatch and start again instead of continuing. Repeating a painful feed doesn’t train anybody; it just damages skin that then hurts more next time.

How to take her off safely

Never pull her straight off. The suction is strong and pulling against it’s a common cause of nipple damage.

Break the seal first. Slide a clean finger into the corner of her mouth between her gums, or press gently down on her chin. You’ll feel the suction give. Then lift her away.

Positions and when to use each one

Most people are shown the cradle hold and assume that’s breastfeeding. It’s one of the harder positions for a newborn, because you have the least control over her head.


Position	When it helps
Laid-back: you reclined, baby on your chest	The early days, and if latching feels like a wrestle. Gravity holds her on and she can find the breast herself. Often the most comfortable for sore nipples.
Cross-cradle: supporting her head with the opposite hand	Learning to latch, and small or sleepy babies. You get the most control over the angle of her head.
Rugby or football hold: baby tucked along your side	After a caesarean, because nothing rests on your wound. Also good for twins, large breasts, or a fast let-down.
Side-lying: both of you on your sides	Night feeds and recovery. Bear in mind it’s harder to see the latch, so it isn’t the one to learn on.

If one position isn’t working after a fair try, change it instead of persevering. A latch that fails in cross-cradle often works first time laid-back.

A note on side-lying and safe sleep. Feeding lying down is fine and often a relief at 3am. It’s what happens afterwards that counts: your baby should be returned to her own flat, firm sleep surface, and you should never feed lying down on a sofa or armchair, where a baby can wedge into the cushions. If there’s any chance you’ll drop off, feed in a bed you’ve cleared of pillows and duvet. Our guide to co-sleeping safely goes through this properly.

When it isn’t the latch

Sometimes positioning is right and it still hurts. The most common reason is tongue tie: a tight strip of tissue under the tongue that stops her extending it far enough to cup the breast.

Signs that raise the question: she can’t maintain a latch however you position her, she clicks or pops off repeatedly, feeds are very long, your nipples come out misshapen despite good technique, or she can’t stick her tongue past her lower gum.

It’s diagnosed by examination, not from a photo or a checklist, and not every tie needs treating. Plenty of babies with one feed perfectly well. What it does mean is that a professional should look, instead of you assuming you’re doing it wrong.

Other possibilities that need a proper assessment: a very forceful let-down, thrush, or simple engorgement making the breast too firm to latch onto. Softening the areola by hand-expressing a little first often solves that last one immediately.

Where to get help in Singapore

Save this section. Latching is a practical skill and it’s far easier to fix with someone watching you do it than from any article.


Who	Contact
Breastfeeding Mothers’ Support Group (Singapore): Singapore’s breastfeeding charity, with trained volunteer counsellors and referrals to lactation consultants	Helpline and WhatsApp 6339 3558
KKH lactation service: inpatient and outpatient consultations, plus teleconsults	6-CALL KKH (6225 5554)
NUH lactation clinic: breastfeeding helpline, 8am to 11pm	9722 0376
Polyclinics: lactation support nurses are available at a number of them	Ask at your usual polyclinic

Ask sooner than you think you should. The most common regret we hear isn’t getting help until the damage was bad enough to stop. Nipple pain in the first week is a reason to call someone, not a rite of passage. If you’d rather see someone privately, we have a guide to finding a lactation consultant in Singapore.

Frequently asked questions

How do I know if my baby is latched on correctly?

Her mouth should be wide open with lips flanged outwards, her chin pressed into the breast and her nose clear, her cheeks rounded and not hollowed, and you should hear slow deep sucks and rhythmic swallowing without clicking. The most reliable check is your nipple afterwards: it should be round and the same shape as before, not flattened, creased or wedge-shaped.

Should breastfeeding hurt?

A few seconds of strong tugging as your baby latches is common in the early days. Pain that continues through the feed isn’t normal and is usually a shallow latch. Cracked or bleeding nipples are a sign to get the latch assessed, not to push on. Continuing a painful feed damages skin that then hurts more at the next one.

Why does my baby keep slipping off the breast?

Usually a shallow latch, often because she was brought on before her mouth was wide open, or because she’s having to turn her head instead of facing you squarely. Clicking or smacking sounds point the same way. If it persists despite good positioning, ask about tongue tie, and consider whether a fast let-down or engorgement is making the breast hard to stay on.

How do I unlatch my baby without it hurting?

Break the suction before you lift her away. Slide a clean finger into the corner of her mouth between her gums, or press gently down on her chin, and you’ll feel the seal release. Pulling her straight off against the suction is a common cause of nipple damage.

Which breastfeeding position is best for a newborn?

Laid-back and cross-cradle are usually easiest while you’re both learning: laid-back because gravity does the work and she can self-attach, cross-cradle because you have the most control over her head. The rugby hold is particularly useful after a caesarean, since nothing presses on your wound. The cradle hold, which most people are shown first, is one of the harder ones for a newborn.

Could my baby have tongue tie?

Ask if she can’t maintain a latch however you position her, clicks or pops off repeatedly, feeds for very long stretches, or if your nipples come out misshapen despite good technique. Tongue tie is diagnosed by examination, not from photos or checklists, and not every tie needs treating. Many babies with one feed well.

Where can I get breastfeeding help in Singapore?

The Breastfeeding Mothers’ Support Group runs a helpline and WhatsApp line on 6339 3558 with trained volunteer counsellors. KKH provides inpatient, outpatient and teleconsult lactation support on 6225 5554, and NUH runs a breastfeeding helpline on 9722 0376 from 8am to 11pm. Lactation support nurses are also available at a number of polyclinics.

What to remember

Aim her nose at your nipple, wait for a wide open mouth, and bring her on chin first so she takes a deep mouthful of breast, not just the nipple. Check your nipple shape afterwards: round is right, creased isn’t.

If it hurts through the whole feed, stop and relatch instead of enduring it. And if a few real attempts haven’t fixed it, that’s the point to call someone, not the point to give up.