A Surprise Pregnancy And A Drug-Free Labour

After the copious amount of reading and preparation they did, Singaporean parents, Khairun and Tahir thought they knew what to expect. But little Ahmad had other ideas.

Some birth stories are best kept exactly as they were told. This one, a surprise pregnancy discovered by accident at SGH, a frightening bleed, and a drug-free delivery, is one reader’s, in her words. Underneath it’s what to know now about the choices it turns on: unmedicated birth, the epidural decision, and one moment in the story that deserves a footnote.

A reader’s birth story, first published on theAsianparent.

The surprise pregnancy

I found out about my surprise pregnancy in the most unique way: during a routine check-up at Singapore General Hospital, where I work. The first urine test showed no sign of pregnancy, so I happily went on to do an X-ray, not realising I was pregnant. When I came back to the doctor, she told me I might be pregnant. Two more urine tests both came back positive. I was astonished. My first test and a home kit had both been negative. Thrilled, but also worried, because of the X-ray. The doctor sent me to the gynaecologist at SGH immediately. Miraculously, the X-ray hadn’t affected my baby, and I went home to share the news. You can imagine how delighted my husband, Tahir, and I were.

Pregnancy concerns

A few days in, it took a turn for the worse. I started bleeding as though I was having my period, and I couldn’t walk or stand for long. The longer I did, the more I bled. I was confused and weak. Fortunately my superiors at work were supportive and granted me a month of no-pay leave. The bleeding stopped by the 16th week, but returned around the 28th. Because of it, my doctors thought I might deliver pre-term, but by God’s grace, I carried my boy to full term.

The big day

At 39 weeks I went back to SGH for a detailed check-up with my gynaecologist, Dr Michele Lee. She was alarmed that I’d had no real contractions, so I was sent to the labour ward for a CTG and a scan, and only then did they realise my water bag had already broken. Since I hadn’t dilated, I was given prostin and told to walk around. By 7 the next morning I was only 2cm, so frustrated that I asked to be induced by 8am. The contractions hit at about 2pm; by 5pm I was 7cm, and I decided to take an epidural. When I said so, my mother, whom the kind SGH staff had let into the delivery room, said: “Ayu, if you could prove your love to me, dad and your son, please do not take the epidural.”

A drug-free delivery

After that I decided to skip the epidural, and pulled my husband’s t-shirt and grabbed his hand for dear life instead. At around 9pm I started to push. My gynaecologist, trying to be supportive, said, “Pace yourself, this will take about an hour.” I was stunned. “What, another hour of suffering?” In the final moments, senior midwife Zaiton was a huge help; it was her shouting “I see the head!” that kept me pushing, all the way, until I heard my son’s first cry. When I first saw my baby I cried so loudly that my gynaecologist joked, “I thought you were supposed to cry while pushing.” I couldn’t answer. I was too fixated on my little prince. The whole world became empty. It was only me and my little boy. The whole journey was surreal, and I’m so glad I had such a supportive husband. The pregnancy was rough, but I have no regrets. Can’t wait for number two!

The footnote her story deserves

An epidural isn’t a failure of love, or of strength.

This mother did beautifully, but she was talked out of pain relief, at 7cm, by being told that declining it would prove her love. That framing is common and it does real harm. Choosing an epidural doesn’t make a mother weaker, less devoted, or less of a mother, and no one, however well-meaning, should make a labouring woman feel she has to earn her child’s or her family’s love through pain. The “right” birth is the one that gets a healthy mother and baby through it, by whatever route. If you want an unmedicated birth, wonderful; if you want the epidural, equally wonderful. The choice is yours and it’s nobody’s test to set.

What to know about unmedicated birth

It’s a valid, safe choice for many, and preparation is what makes it achievable: breathing, movement, positions, a doula or a well-briefed partner, and knowing the stages so the pain has a map.
Keep it a preference, not a vow. The mothers who cope best tend to plan for an unmedicated birth and give themselves full permission to change their mind. Labour is unpredictable; a birth plan is a wish list, not a contract, and “I changed my mind at 7cm” isn’t a defeat.
The epidural is a legitimate, widely used tool, not a last resort for the weak. The dedicated guide linked below covers how it works and its trade-offs.
Support changes everything. Notice how much of this story rests on the husband’s hand, the midwife’s shout, the mother in the room. Who’s with you, and how, counts as much as the pharmacology.

Frequently asked questions

Is a drug-free birth better than one with an epidural?

Neither is better. The best birth is the one that gets mother and baby through safely, by whatever means suits her. An unmedicated birth is a valid choice; so is an epidural. Anyone framing one as morally superior is adding pressure, not wisdom.

Should I refuse an epidural to prove I’m strong?

No. An epidural isn’t a failure of strength or love, and no one should make a labouring woman feel she must earn anything through pain. Choose pain relief, or don’t, based on what you want in the moment. The decision is yours alone.

How do I prepare for an unmedicated birth?

Learn the stages, practise breathing and positions, arrange strong support (partner, doula or both), and hold the plan loosely. Planning for it while giving yourself permission to change your mind is what works, because labour rarely reads the script.

Can I change my mind about pain relief during labour?

Absolutely, at any point. A birth plan is a preference, not a promise. Deciding at 7cm that you want the epidural is a perfectly good decision, not a broken vow.

What to take from her story

A surreal, supported, drug-free birth, kept here as it was told. The lesson under it isn’t that unmedicated is best. It’s that the choice is the mother’s, that an epidural costs nothing in love or strength, and that no one should be pressured out of pain relief to prove anything. Plan for the birth you want, hold it loosely, and let the people around you hold you up.