Keeping the love alive

Like any relationship, a marriage needs work and lots of effort for it to be successful. This working mother shares how she sustains passion in her marital relationship while balancing the responsibilities of a wife, mother and employee.

Mrs Ng, 30:

Once you’ve gotten married, you might think that you’ve sealed the deal and thus there is no need to work at it. That assumption could not be more wrong. Like any relationship, a marriage needs to survive and takes even more effort to be successful. This is especially true if you are a mother and you’re working. I mean, where are you going to get the time to sleep? Let alone romance your husband, but trust me ladies, you have to make the time.

Date nights

I’m lucky because I can count on my extended family (parents, grandparents and siblings) to look after my baby when my husband and I go for our dates. This can get a little tricky if you are still nursing like I am. That’s why I consider my electric breast pump one of my best breast friends (pun intended). My daughter has a steady supply of milk, while I spend an evening with my husband reliving our courting days in the cinema.

Treat yourself well

You don’t have to be a size four and decked out in the latest fashion and toting a designer diaper bag to be considered a yummy mummy. Just as long as you feel beautiful, you’re on the right track. Remember ladies it’s all about confidence. I struggled with my post pregnancy weight gain and tried to hide it beneath maternity clothes. I did not feel pretty at all and I kind of gave up on looking after myself. I was miserable and it took me close to eight months to get out of this funk and to reclaim my groove. So I say, don’t feel guilty about wanting to look nice, because ladies, we deserve to feel good and take care of ourselves.

Have a routine

Yes, you have a lot of responsibilities, and sometimes you just don’t have time for romance or to spend quality time with your husband. That’s why it is important to schedule date nights, romance or even sex. Because if it’s on your schedule and you have set some time especially for this, it is likely to happen. It might seem trivial or even rigid, but it has helped me reconnect with my husband intimately after the birth of my daughter.

Be spontaneous

Yes be spontaneous and have a quickie with your hubby in the morning just before you go to work. It breaks up the morning routine and fills you up with endorphin which means you go in to work with a huge smile on your face.

Have a technology free weekend

The way information is passed and how we use technology, has made us easily distracted. So chuck those smart phones, unplug the television and the internet and revel in your partner’s company. Rediscover his physical being, talk to him, play board games. Do whatever you want as long as no technology is involved. This helps you get creative with the time you spend with each other as well as allows you to immerse yourself in each other’s presence. I can’t guarantee it won’t drive you insane (I know of some couples who can’t stay away from Facebook for more than an hour), but you are sure to discover something new and interesting about your partner or even yourself.

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Written by

Wafa Marican

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