The Biggest Dump Of My Life: A Hilarious Pregnancy Story!

The Biggest Dump Of My Life: A Hilarious Pregnancy Story!

It's quite normal to feel like you need to pass motion during labour. In fact, a lot of women do. Jules Rahim shares her story with us...

3 minutes was all it took for us to drive to Thomson Medical Centre.

At 0215, Hubby rushed in for registration while a nurse came over and brought me to the observation ward. Then it really started. I walked slowly, waddling to keep my posture right. I changed into my labour gown and tried to settle in, even though my tummy was twisting with the contractions. The nurse came in and fiddled below. 5 cm dilation!

The Biggest Dump Of My Life: A Hilarious Pregnancy Story!

I was rushed to the labour ward. ‘Gas mask’ was given and the nurses checked on me from time to time. ‘The Ellen DeGeneres Show’ entertained me. The irony of it? The show was featuring a pregnancy theme!

The husband came in after registration and asked if I was okay. I assured him, but he kept holding and rubbing my hand. With texts and phone calls constantly coming in, I felt popular. Then.....

I had the urge to crap. Right there and then. I panicked ordered my husband to get a nurse. My equally panicky husband started to stall and asked me was I really sure? He finally left but only returned back to tell me the nurses said this was a normal feeling. I felt so uncomfortable and really wanted to take a ‘big dump’!

After a while, my gynae, Dr. S.P. Teo came to tell me the baby was arriving shortly. Hubby felt lost. He walked over and held my hand. In the meantime, I screamed at my husband about the extreme need to take use the toilet. He looked at me and said, “Just do it here. They are used to it”. I looked at him like as if he was senile. I felt like a person about to be sacrificed as my legs were spread open. I didn’t like the many faces peeking into my private area.

I tried to tell my doctor about the urge to go the toilet. He assured me that was how it felt when the baby was about to ‘pop’. All I knew was, I wanted to crap and I wanted to crap bad. But the doctor assured me that it was normal to feel that way.

I was told to grab my legs and push. I thought that was crazy. How could I push when I needed to crap?! They made me take deep breaths and I told myself, “Focus Jules, deep breathing, and give it all out”.

The Biggest Dump Of My Life: A Hilarious Pregnancy Story!

The nurse happily pushed my head forward to ease the pushing. I felt like I was trying to break my own record of "Sit and Reach" in the ‘Open-Legged’ category! “Baby’s head is here! Push more!” the doctor exclaimed. I let go my hold on both my thighs, put up my hand and said, "WAIT. I need time. I'm quite tired."

Yes, I actually told the doctor to wait. Dr Teo was patient and he waited. Finally I said, "Ok, I’m ready", I said. Feeling the next contraction coming, I said to them, "I’m pushing now". No hesitation this time!

Finally I heard his cries! Our son, Illan Adirayyan was here at 0255. I did it! I was drained. Hubby kissed me and said how brave I was and that he was so proud of me. 40 minutes of labour and only 3 pushes! I couldn’t have asked for it to be better.

They brought Illhan to me later and his eyes were opened. He looked at me curiously. Those innocent eyes, the cute face....I melted.

The Biggest Dump Of My Life: A Hilarious Pregnancy Story!

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Written by

Jules Rahim

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