It was on the 26th of November 2019, when the two red lines appeared on my pregnancy test. And the roller coaster feeling began! As a rainbow mom, it’s overwhelming. Yes! You heard it right, “rainbow mom” , for those who are unfamiliar with the name, it means a mom who has a baby after a pregnancy loss. Feeling so grateful and delighted that finally it’s happening again and the excitement to share it with my beloved husband. Then all of a sudden, I feel anxious and scared because there’s a flashback of losing my first baby. It was a painful experience mentally, physically and emotionally. I paused and meditated to calm myself because I didn't want to harm my little peanut. Glad I managed to sleep but the next day, I found myself crying inside the toilet when I saw some bleeding. Totally shocked and shaking, hoping it was just a nightmare. It is not easy to deliver the news to my husband through a facetime call. He can only be in spirit with me during those moments as he is away for a business trip. I need to carry my courage and do everything alone in the hospital. You might wonder where my family or friends are. Well, both me and my husband are foreign to this country thus, we’re away from our family. And our friends are busy as well with their work. I’m actually scheduled to work at that time, so I need to inform my boss of my situation. Although I don’t want anyone to know my situation yet as I wanted to pass at least my first trimester. She’s a mother I know she’ll understand and for sure she can advise me as well. And I’m not wrong, because even before I asked her for some day off, she’s the one who told me that I need to rest at least a week with a beautiful message to motivate me. Think it’s a mom instinct for her. This helps me feel at ease while waiting for someone to attend to me inside the hospital. Tears overflowed as the doctor explained that I needed to observe and take some medicine to avoid more bleeding. And I need to wait for the first official appointment with an Obstetric and Gynecology (OB GYN) specialist in a week's time for further examination.
It’s my first appointment with my OB GYN, it’s on the 12th of December 2019. Not an easy week to wait for this day!, because we left hanging on what could be possibly happening inside my womb. I am holding tightly on my husband’s hand while watching the ultrasound scan. Again, I’m crying…but this time, it’s a tear of joy! We received such great news that our little peanut is doing fine. I still remember hearing his good heartbeat and the first 1 picture of the fetus.As the days are passing by so fast! The year is coming to an end as we celebrate Christmas! The best Christmas I should say, as I am carrying the most precious gift that we prayed for. Gosh! It’s not easy to hide my pregnancy as everyone celebrates with champagne and I am avoiding it. Oh well! Only a few weeks to go and we are entering the second trimester and we can share the great news.
Finally time has arrived! I can finally share the great news. It was a perfect date – my 32nd birthday on the 2nd of January 2020! We landed at NAIA Terminal 3, Philippines home sweet home. As my mom passed me a bouquet of flowers, I let her touch my belly and look into her eyes with a big smile! And she just jumped as she instinctively knew that “I am pregnant!” Feels surreal to share this moment with my family. And guess what, the hormonal shifts continue, I am crying again. The ups and down emotion can’t stop, I know it’s part of pregnancy. I am feeding my brain and my heart with all the good and positive thoughts aside from eating healthy foods and some light exercise. Those are the top best things I can do to keep my little peanut happy inside. What a great start of the year! Reunion with the family and announcement of my pregnancy.
A lot of changes not only to my body but the whole world itself because of the pandemic – caused by CoronaVirus (Covid19). It’s 16th April 2020 when I entered my third trimester. And it’s 9 days since the circuit breaker started here in Singapore. This is imposed by a lot of restrictions in order to minimize further spread of the Covid19. This is not easy as there’s a lot of things you cannot do. All public and private gyms and pools are closed. You cannot eat out! No, gatherings. Attractions and salons are closed too. In fact, it’s a long list. Imagine how you can adapt to the quick change, what more if you are a first time expectant mom. On top of this, I found out that I have diabetes. Although it’s normal for pregnant women to experience high glucose, mine exceeded the normal. On the positive side, this will help me to check a proper diet and keep an eye on my sugar. Honestly, I don't want this to affect my emotions in pregnancy, so I make myself busy in planning and preparing the room for my little peanut. The most important thing on this stage is to avoid stress or overthinking. Instead, I must be productive and stay positive for a healthy pregnancy. Also be prepared because anytime soon, I will give birth.