While most of these things can be explained away, it’s important to note that if your husband starts doing or showing two or more things on this list, there is cause to worry.
What’s more, our much-vaunted intuition and sensitivity to emotions are never weaknesses—they’re what we have to protect ourselves.
This may be painful for you to read, but it’s better that you know what behaviour you have to look out for if you suspect your husband is cheating:
He always clears his text message and chats histories
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Openness with each other’s mobile phone depends on your relationship. You’re the first person who is completely allowed to borrow his phone, though, so if you find that he just cleaned out his chat or text history, there is cause for worry.
He spends less time with you than before
The one thing that changes the most when he’s having an affair is the time he spends with you. To be objective about it, make a timesheet tallying how much time he spends with you and the kids and see if this changes over time.
He doesn’t want you to fetch him or meet him at work
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His usual reason is, “I do not want to bother you” He could also say, “The traffic is just so bad at this time.” If fetching him or meeting him for dinner after work wasn’t a hassle before, why should it be now?
He has new bedroom tricks
You don’t have to accuse him outright, but ask him where he learned his new move. Ask what porn flick he saw or where he read it.
You can’t find some of his clothes
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Men aren’t as careful as we are when it comes to laundry. If you find that a set of clothes he wore that week aren’t in the wash, he might have left them with the other woman, who most probably assured him she’d clean them.
If he isn’t cheating and really is just busy with work, he’ll appreciate a lift home and spontaneous dinner out. Work will eventually become less busy, as well. If he’s cheating, he’ll probably adamantly refuse you make an effort to spend more time with him.
In the end, what you’re looking for are irregularities and changes in behaviour. Trust your intuition and be vigilant.
But what are you going to do if you do find out he’s cheating?
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