X
theAsianparent Logo
theAsianparent Logo
Product GuideSign in
  • Awards
    • Parents' Choice Awards 2023
  • Pregnancy
    • Due date calculator
    • I'm pregnant
    • Trying To Conceive
    • Labour
    • After birth
    • Baby loss
  • Parenting
    • Parent's Guide
    • Relationship & Sex
  • Child
    • Newborn
    • Baby
    • Toddler
    • Pre-Schooler
    • Kid
    • Pre-Teen & Teen
  • Feeding & Nutrition
    • Diseases-Injuries
    • Breastfeeding & Formula
    • Meal Planner
    • Health
    • Allergies & Conditions
    • Vaccinations
  • Education
    • Pre-School
    • Primary School
    • Secondary School
    • Primary School Directory
  • Lifestyle
    • Money
    • Travel & Leisure
    • Fashion
    • Home
    • Fitness
    • Contests & promotions
  • News
    • International
    • Health
    • Celebrity
    • Singapore
  • TAP Recommends
  • Shopping
  • Press Releases
  • Project Sidekicks
  • Community
  • Advertise With Us
  • Contact Us
  • Become A Contributor
  • VIP

Your Kid’s Imaginary Friend: Should You Be Worried?

7 min read
Your Kid’s Imaginary Friend: Should You Be Worried?

Clinical psychologist Rachael K. Tan answers all your questions about kids' imaginary friends. Keep reading to find out more...

There are many things that parents concern themselves with once their kids start developing their creativity more and more, but one that is often not talked about or has parents perplexed and confused about is our kids’ imaginary friends.

Acknowledging a kid’s imaginary friend is one thing, but to go as far as playing with them as your toddler has instructed is something I know we all struggle with. How do we handle that? Is having an imaginary friend normal? Could having an imaginary friend be an indication of something? If so, what is it an indication of?

Table of Contents

  • What’s an Imaginary Friend
  • What It Means to Have an Imaginary Friend
  • When Do Kids Start Having Imaginary Friends
  • Why Do Kids Create Imaginary Friends
  • What Are the Benefits of Kids Having Imaginary Friends
  • When Imaginary Friends Are Trouble and How to Handle Them

What’s an Imaginary Friend

My 4-year-old son once told me he had a new friend named Jaggery. “Interesting name,” I thought to myself, thinking Jaggery was a new boy at school. It turns out that Jaggery is a sparkly blue dragon who lives next door to us and loves nothing more than munching on little girls and broccoli!

My son goes into great detail when talking about his dragon friend and describes his adventures on a daily basis.

Personally, I’m not too worried about my kid’s imaginary friend, but I know there are many parents out there whose kids have imaginary friends and might be a bit concerned.

So we asked clinical psychologist Rachael Tan for her expert opinion on this subject. 

“Imaginary friends” are fictional characters — for example, people or animals — that children make up and then interact with for the purpose of companionship. A kid’s imaginary friend can exist both purely in their mind or be an actual physical object like a stuffed bunny.

What It Means to Have an Imaginary Friend

Kids having imaginary friends is so common that 65% of kids will most likely grow up having one. A common misconception that parents have is that having imaginary friends is a sign of a high IQ. Unfortunately, no study in existence can confirm that. It can develop their creativity but to achieve intelligence, your child might need more than an imaginary friend. 

The good news is that having one is not a sign of a mental health problem. All it is is your kid being a kid.

When Do Kids Start Having Imaginary Friends

Although not all children will create imaginary friends, children who make imaginary friends can develop these friendships as soon as they pick up enough language to allow them to engage in some form of interaction with their imaginary friends.

Asian toddler talking on the phone - imaginary friends article

Image Source: iStock

Why Do Kids Create Imaginary Friends

Some kids have imaginary friends for a variety of reasons:

1) Imaginary friends are fun

When children have imaginary friends, their creativity and imagination are at work, and it’s plain fun for them when they explore this side. They get to choose what their imaginary friends look like, how they sound, how they move, and how they play. And, even for us adults, if we were given that freedom, we’d have fun too.

2) Creating a friend is a way to fill a gap

One of the many things that parents cannot control is how many friends our kids will get someday. It hurts our hearts because as adults, we know what it feels like to not have enough friends or support. But, for kids, it’s pretty simple. If they don’t have enough friends, they just make up one, ergo the purpose of imaginary friends.

3) Having an imaginary friend is having a sense of control

It’s not a coincidence that kids start conjuring imaginary friends at a time they’re already being taught actions and consequences. Having an imaginary friend helps take them out of that disposition and allows them more control over the things they do – even their parents. When they ask their parents to leave a seat for their imaginary friends, for instance. 

Now, don’t be concerned, because we are not saying your child is going to grow up becoming manipulative. Your kids are not aware that they are taking some control over their lives by having imaginary friends. So, let them be, and play along to help your child appreciate some autonomy too.

What Are the Benefits of Kids Having Imaginary Friends

Having age-appropriate imaginary friends can help children in many ways, including:

1) Developing their language and creative abilities

2) Allowing a safe space to act out make-believe situations and practice possible real-life situations like cleaning up some milk that the friend has spilt

3) Providing companionship when the child has to spend time on their own

4) Giving parents or adults opportunities to explore and assist with difficulties and/or stressors in the child’s life. For example, if a child is constantly bullying their imaginary friend, this may be an indication that the child is personally struggling with issues of bullying.

5) Improving their creativity and self-esteem

When Imaginary Friends Are Trouble and How to Handle Them

At appropriate times, such as during play, it’s perfectly fine to go along with your kid’s imaginary friend and enter into your kid’s creative world. However, there are also times when it’s best to avoid such interactions.

  • When your child blames their imaginary friend for a wrongdoing

Most children recognise that their imaginary friends are make-believe and do not really exist. So at times, they may use their imaginary companions as “scapegoats” to get out of trouble because they think there is no way to prove whether their friend is to blame or not.

You can deal with such situations by remaining calm and informing your child that you both know their imaginary friend could not have done the deed. After this, dish out the usual consequence for the inappropriate act your child has committed. 

  • When your child refuses to do what they’re told

Children can also use their imaginary companions to make excuses for not doing what they are told. A child, for example, says, “Lisa needs me to help her make a cake so I can’t do my homework right now.”

 
toddler girl pretend play as a teacher at home - imaginary friends article

Image Source: iStock

Partner Stories
Great ideas for gifts for Chinese New Year 2023!
Great ideas for gifts for Chinese New Year 2023!
Learn Tech and Media Skills, Gain Industry Exposure and Build a Portfolio. Here’s How Your Child Can Benefit from an Infocomm or Media CCA!
Learn Tech and Media Skills, Gain Industry Exposure and Build a Portfolio. Here’s How Your Child Can Benefit from an Infocomm or Media CCA!
Korean Stars Take Center Stage at Disney Content Showcase in Singapore
Korean Stars Take Center Stage at Disney Content Showcase in Singapore
Health is Your Greatest Wealth. Learn How Your CPF Savings Can Safeguard Your Healthcare Needs and Provide Peace of Mind
Health is Your Greatest Wealth. Learn How Your CPF Savings Can Safeguard Your Healthcare Needs and Provide Peace of Mind

The best way to address this problem is to use the “First-Then” rule with your child. Respond by saying, “First you need to do your homework, and then you can help Lisa with her cake.”

If your child still does not do as you have asked, implement the consequence for not obeying an instruction as you normally would.

  • When your child can’t tell the difference between fantasy and reality

Things can quite get out of hand when you notice your child being affected by their imaginary friend more than they should, like being distressed over something they think their friend had done, doing harmful things because their imaginary friend said so, and preferring a make-believe companion over real-life peers. If you notice these signs, call your child’s doctor or a counsellor.

To find out more about Rachael Tan and her practice, click here.

The advantages linked to kids having an imaginary friend certainly outweigh any disadvantages. It’s also good to keep in mind that your kid’s imaginary friend is a perfectly normal part of childhood and healthy development.

So parents, enjoy watching your child use his imagination and creativity while the phase lasts!

Does your child have an imaginary friend? Tell us all about it by leaving a comment.

Katie Lear, The Atlantic, GoodHousekeeping  

ALSO READ:

Pretend Play Can Help Children Manage Their Emotions: Study

Best Magnetic Toys in Singapore to Encourage Your Children’s Imagination

When Do Babies Develop Social Skills? A Parent’s Guide in Helping Your Child Learn How to Interact With Others

Got a parenting concern? Read articles or ask away and get instant answers on our app. Download theAsianparent Community on iOS or Android now!

img
Written by

Nalika Unantenne

  • Home
  • /
  • Ages & Stages
  • /
  • Your Kid’s Imaginary Friend: Should You Be Worried?
Share:
  • Video of Child Talking to Nobody Will Give You Goosebumps

    Video of Child Talking to Nobody Will Give You Goosebumps

  • The Importance of Pretend Play in Your Child's Development

    The Importance of Pretend Play in Your Child's Development

  • I Try Tracy Lee's Hack for Egg Tarts and It's So Easy That Even Kids Can Make it

    I Try Tracy Lee's Hack for Egg Tarts and It's So Easy That Even Kids Can Make it

  • Melissa Faith Yeo Claims Andie Chen Accused Her of Cheating to Get Pity Votes for Star Awards

    Melissa Faith Yeo Claims Andie Chen Accused Her of Cheating to Get Pity Votes for Star Awards

  • Video of Child Talking to Nobody Will Give You Goosebumps

    Video of Child Talking to Nobody Will Give You Goosebumps

  • The Importance of Pretend Play in Your Child's Development

    The Importance of Pretend Play in Your Child's Development

  • I Try Tracy Lee's Hack for Egg Tarts and It's So Easy That Even Kids Can Make it

    I Try Tracy Lee's Hack for Egg Tarts and It's So Easy That Even Kids Can Make it

  • Melissa Faith Yeo Claims Andie Chen Accused Her of Cheating to Get Pity Votes for Star Awards

    Melissa Faith Yeo Claims Andie Chen Accused Her of Cheating to Get Pity Votes for Star Awards

Get advice on your pregnancy and growing baby. Sign up for our newsletter
  • Pregnancy
    • Baby
    • Education
    • Events
    • Allergies & Conditions
  • Family Occasions
    • Breastfeeding & Formula
    • Child Safety
    • Health
    • Diseases-Injuries
  • Lifestyle
    • Home
    • Money
    • Feeding & Nutrition
    • Diet & Weightloss
  • Normal Delivery
    • Cesarean Delivery
    • Behaviour
    • Secondary School
    • Formula Feeding
  • Ages & Stages
    • Latching & Concerns
    • Festivals & Holidays
    • Education
    • Pre-teen & Teen
  • More
    • TAP Community
    • Advertise With Us
    • Contact Us
    • Become a Contributor


  • Singapore flag Singapore
  • Thailand flag Thailand
  • Indonesia flag Indonesia
  • Philippines flag Philippines
  • Malaysia flag Malaysia
  • Sri-Lanka flag Sri Lanka
  • India flag India
  • Vietnam flag Vietnam
  • Australia flag Australia
  • Japan flag Japan
  • Nigeria flag Nigeria
  • Kenya flag Kenya
© Copyright theAsianparent 2023. All rights reserved
About Us|Team|Privacy Policy|Terms of Use |Sitemap HTML
  • Tools
  • Articles
  • Feed
  • Poll

We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

theAsianparent heart icon
We’d like to send you notifications for the latest news and lifestyle updates.