There are many reasons why you might want to have an affair. Your marriage has lost the spark, your wife nags endlessly, it’s all about the kids and paying bills. Sex has lost its steam and it’s mundane and routine if there’s any at all. Maybe you’re stressed and tired, maybe the differences are getting the better of you.
Or maybe you are about to have an affair because you are plain bored. The thrill was in the chase, you won the race, got the prize and now there’s no thrill anymore.
You’re going through the motions of the day not quite looking forward to going home at in the evening. Or maybe you still have affection for your wife. But there’s this hot co-worker you just can’t seem to get your eyes off and it doesn’t help that you have to work closely with her. Or maybe you helped this attractive bombshell who was struggling to get her groceries into her car and she conveniently dropped you off.
Maybe you just stopped thinking and went straight into having an affair. Or maybe you don’t even realise that you’re about to have an affair because you see, unlike one-night stands, affairs don’t just happen. They develop over time and as such, it would be safe to say that if you have an affair, at some point, you made a conscious and deliberate choice.
And that’s what I’m here to tell you. If you’re about to make that choice to have an affair, please think again. Trust me when I say that you’re going to regret it. Deciding that your marriage is beyond salvation and walking out is one thing. Playing a double game and deceiving your wife and family is another thing altogether.
If you’re about to have an affair, remember that it’s not going to end well.
You will regret your decision to have an affair. And here are some practical reasons why.
1. You don’t lust forever
I get it, sex is important, and you think of it a whole lot. But there’s only so much of mindless sex you’re going to have with someone before you crave a certain stability. And that leads back to love and a relationship. When it gets there, you will eventually feel the same predictability creeping in, it’s just a matter of time.
So before you go off and have an affair with someone and eventually feel the same way you did about your marriage, look at ways to resolve the problem at hand.
And about the whole infatuation thing, look, it’s easy to be all fun and carefree with someone you just meet every now and then. If you take it to the next step, the very things that frustrate you about your marriage will eventually apply.
If you are about to have an affair on these grounds, snap back to your senses. Think of your wife’s tear-streaked face when she finds that lipstick mark on your shirt that she washes for you. Think of how devastated your children will feel when they find out that there’s a woman in your life and it’s not their mum.
It’s not worth it.
On another note, has it ever occurred to you that if you’re the one that’s easily bored and not content with life, perhaps you could be the problem!
2. There’s no turning back
When you have an affair, there’s no turning back. It cannot be undone.
Once you go there, you’re going down. Once you make the decision to have an affair, you are never going to experience the contentment that family life offers. It will happen in stages. It starts off fun and you might even get a kick out of all the sneaking around.
Then you get stuck in limbo as guilt catches up. After the dust settles, you might come back to your senses and you are torn apart between telling your wife the truth and ending the relationship. You fear the outcome and you are caught in a miserable web of lies and deceit.
And when the truth finally reveals itself, as it always does, your wife and children are going to look at you like never before. Eventually, your new flame will die out when she gets tired of all your excess baggage. Is it worth it? The answer speaks for itself.
If you are in two minds, if you are about to have an affair and you stop right now and come clean, chances are your wife will still forgive you and your family stays together.
Be a man. Do the right thing.
3. You have to answer to your children
If nothing else will stop you from having an affair, maybe this will. Yes, they will possibly love you in spite of you being the father who left or broke their mum’s heart, but they will never love you the same.
At some point, they are going to have many questions for you. Questions that will leave you staring at the floor wishing that the ground would open and just swallow you up. You’re going to feel a crippling sense of self-hatred and then you will wish so hard that you didn’t make that stupid mistake and have that affair.
Think about this before you have an affair…
Don’t trade the stability of marriage for momentary madness.
The thrill and excitement do not last. The feelings that you harbour for this person you are about to have an affair with, will not last. The feelings of attraction and wild passion you had for your wife too, were fleeting. But what kept you grounded was the sacred union called marriage.
Marriage is love, hard work, commitment, tolerance, patience, sacrifice and so much more. Marriage is beautiful. Marriage is worth fighting for.
And if your marriage is failing, or if you and your wife have irreconcilable differences, end things the proper way before running into another woman’s arms. Respect your wife, your family and yourself enough to do things the proper way.
You’ve built so much together. Don’t throw it away in a phase of madness. Avoid opportunities that lead you to have an affair. Don’t spend unnecessary time alone with any woman other than your wife. Go home and spend that time reading to your kids instead.
When you come back to your senses, you will realise that what you have, your family, makes life worth the living!