Husbands and new fathers as mum’s confinement helper!
Being the absolutely wonderful people that we are, theAsianParent has drawn up a list of things that you can do to help out in this confinement period.
Confinement nanny
Before you start rattling off that your mother-in-law has taken care of that, we meant that you play secondary confinement nanny. Baby your wife. Get her everything she asks for. If she craves for durians at 11.15 at night, find a way to get them. If she wants you to draw a bath with lavender salts, do it. The woman just had your kid, for crying out loud. Throw in something while you’re at it! After all a bath with lavender salts, candles, light music in the background is the least you can do to make up for the nine months she was saddled with your child! If you already have an older child with you, get him to pitch in as well. He could be your little assistant and there is nothing sweeter for Mummy than her two favourite people lending a helping hand around the house.
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Colour those blues away!
Now more than ever, postpartum blues have been making headlines. Occurring a few days after giving birth, there is possibility that your wife might be feeling down even if she does not tell or show you. Cheer her up with flowers, chocolates and perhaps even a bath together. Get your wife to get her daily routine on the road. Studies have shown that women with postpartum depression often neglect personal hygiene. Therefore, help her to get back into her regular routine of life. Do it gently.
Doctors have also suggested occasional separation from the baby would do her good and if she’s chasing the blues away, this separation is a must. Take her for a walk in the park or perhaps a stroll along the beach. Speak to her or if the depression is making her avoid contact, get her to keep a journal. Just remember not to force her to do anything. Just show her you are by her side.
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Manage those visitors
You are going to be seeing lots of people flocking to your house to see the new arrival. Be a good host and give your wife no reason to have to make talk with the guests if she does not feel up to it. Give her space. Anna Tay remembers her husband and mother-in-law expecting her to get dressed up and converse with her guests who came to see her baby when he was born two years ago. “I was not feeling up to it. But they expected me to be a good host when I had just given birth a week ago. I mean exhaustion was weighing in and I was just feeling so messed up but I still gritted my teeth and went with it, although for that period I just resented my husband and his mother for not being more understanding,” confesses Anna.
Be your wife for a while
You heard us right. Be your wife for a while. Do the things she usually does – pay the bills, stock up on groceries, drive the kids to their piano class, mother the kids, etc. Do what needs doing, fix what needs fixing and attend to what needs attending to. Don’t sit around and wait for her to tell you what to do.
The bottom line is show her she’s loved and appreciated! Moreover, these little actions of yours may just score some brownie points for you in the bedroom!
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