Hari Raya is on the horizon and those who celebrate it would know what that means.
A day of celebration, compassion and…bracing for impact.
Why? Chances are, your well-meaning but obtrusive relatives will come prepared with their arsenal of unsolicited advice.
On March 31, Fariza Salleh, who goes by Frouhaha on TikTok, gave her thoughts on “toxic makciks” and how we can stop ourselves from turning into one of them.
She explained: “I think it’s time that we start practising being non-toxic makciks, so that in 20 years time, you will still have people who love you.”
The 37-year-old hiring manager went on to list out some of the things people should avoid doing when mingling with family members this Hari Raya.
Firstly, there should be no commenting on bodies, Fariza said.
“It’s just not nice,” she reasoned.
Another no-go is making comparisons about the lives of others.
This should apply to just about anything, whether it be marriages, income, homes or jobs.
“Because when someone has more, that means someone has less. And we’re not going to make people feel bad for having less,” she explained.
‘Nobody asked for it’
Unsolicited advice is a skill that toxic makciks seem to have honed to perfection but Fariza urged her viewers not to follow suit.
According to her, advice should only be given to those who specifically requested for it.
Otherwise, it might be best to simply keep our lips sealed.
“Nobody asked for your advice because you’re not in their lives, you don’t even know their names, so don’t offer it,” quipped Fariza.
The same goes for backhanded compliments.
Handing someone a compliment with an underlying insult just isn’t the way to go, Fariza indicated, highlighting one such example: “‘Oh now that you’re thinner you’re prettier’ — No.”
There’s nothing wrong with simply being genuine with your compliment, said Fariza. Best if it comes without the subtle jab.
At the end of the clip Fariza cheekily suggested: “Now that we’re better informed, send this to your toxic makciks.”
Fariza’s advice clearly resonated with a large number of netizens in the comments section to her video, which has since racked up over 450,000 views.
Some were even keen to take her up on the suggestion to send the clip to the toxic makciks in their lives.
One TikTok user commented that they’ll have this video on speaker at their kampung during Hari Raya so that “the whole hall can hear”.
“How I wish I can forward this [TikTok video] to my makciks group,” another said.
Others admitted that they were unaware how some of these remarks may come with ramifications.
In a separate TikTok video, Fariza responded to those who dropped her a message requesting that she send the non-toxic makcik clip to their respective family members.
In a state of bewilderment, she shrieked: “Oi, cannot lah. I know I said I was going to but I’m really joking.”
Fariza added: “Please don’t fight with others. That video is just a reminder for ourselves.”
This article was first published on AsiaOne and republished on theAsianparent with permission.
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