Honouring the mother of my children

Mother’s Day 2016 is just round the corner, and because we want to show our wives how important they are to us, we’re starting to make plans to bring her out for dinner, surprise her with a bouquet of flowers, and urge our kids to prepare something special too.

While doing all that is well and good, truly honouring and appreciating our wives is not done just on one day a year – it has to be done on a daily basis, because she does everything for the family every single day.

Honouring Moms Every Day

After years of marriage and parenthood, it is easy for us to settle into a comfortable routine and take our wives for granted. This often isn’t a conscious decision on our part, but simply a lack of intentionally honouring the very people we pledged to love and cherish all the days of our lives.

Renowned marriage speakers Dr Greg & Erin Smalley have this to say about honour: “[We] have come to believe honouring is key for building a strong and safe relationship... In practical marriage terms, [we] define it as a decision to see another person as a priceless treasure - recognizing his or her incredible worth and value.”

When we think of our wives, do we think of them as being of “incredible worth and value”, or just the ones who will pick up the kids after school, or prepare dinner for us when we come home? Here are some practical tips on how we can honour our kids’ moms and make them feel appreciated:

• Create a climate of respect. Respect first starts with you; when you respect your wife’s opinions and actions, your children will learn to follow. Similarly, when you ignore your wife when she speaks, or dismiss her input, your children may do the same.
• Help your children practice active respect. When you notice your children behaving defiantly towards your wife or talking back to her, let them know that this behavior is unacceptable. Instead, remind them that their mom deserves to be held in high esteem and that means obeying and talking to her in a respectful tone.
• Create a list of traits you love about your wife. Sometimes, we all need a reminder of why we fell so deeply in love with our spouses in the first place. Dr Greg Smalley says creating a list of positive things about your wife will come in especially useful when you are angry with her. By having this list on hand, you can take a time-out to cool down and reflect on these traits before resuming your conversation with her.
• Praise your wife in front of your kids. Don’t just keep that valuable list to yourself. Make an effort to recognize and call out a praiseworthy trait or action that you noticed and make sure your wife and children know just how proud and thankful you are for her and what she has done.

Your wife deserves a lot of credit and praise for the unending love and devotion she gives to her family. This Mother’s Day 2016, why not pledge to honour and respect her day after day, and teach your children to do the same?

© 2016 Focus on the Family Singapore. All rights reserved.

Check out family.org.sg/LoveHonors for more stories of the amazing role a mother plays and how your children can honour her.