5 'Harmless' Comments That Actually Hurt Dads' Feelings

We may not notice it but some comments can undermine a dad's role in raising their own kids

Fathers are more involved today than they were in previous generations. So, why is it that there isn’t more gender equality in the home?

A study has found that dad-involvement parenting has a positive impact on kids’ academic performance as opposed to those whose fathers were less involved.

Dads who are more participative means less pressure on mums to be the sole caregiver in the home. It also opens up different opportunities for both mums and dads to redefine their own roles in the home without adhering to archaic norms.

But, sadly, there are still deeply ingrained stereotypes that cause us to overlook how important dads are in the home.

Though we don’t mean to make dads feel like they’re incapable of contributing positively to raising kids as much as mums are, even the simplest things can offend them.

Here are just a few seemingly harmless comments that actually hurt dads’ feelings.

1. “Looks like Daddy dressed you today!”

Image source: iStock

This usual joke may often be said in jest but it stems from this enduring belief that caring duties are only done right by mums.

Dads are perfectly capable of dressing and grooming kids just as well as mums.

2. “Are you on babysitting duty today?”

This is another comment commonly used to start “small talk”. But, though it may seem harmless, it actually demotes a dad’s role in their child’s life.

This implies that dads are just “temporarily” caring for their kids until the “real” parent comes back.

When dads care for their kids, they’re not babysitting. It’s simply called parenting.

3. “Maybe it’s best to ask their mum.”

Image source: iStock

Dads are capable of making parenting decisions, too. So, why is it that many people put more weight on a mum’s opinion when it comes to the welfare of their kids?

Big decisions need the opinions of both parents, of course. But, for instance, simple decisions such as choosing a diaper brand can totally be handled by the dad.

4. “Your wife is going out of town? Oh no, what are you going to do?”

Dads are also equipped with the ability to multi-task and schedule all of their kids’ appointments, classes, and other activities.

They can even squeeze in household chores and other errands if given the chance.

They’re not inept and can totally handle all aspects of parenting if their wife needs them to.

5. “Wow, that’s amazing! Good for you.”

Image source: iStock

Now, this may seem like a nice thing to say but it becomes patronising when you start praising a dad for simply getting their kid’s clothes on all by themselves or teaching kids to feed themselves.

For most people, if a mum did all of these tasks, it wouldn’t warrant compliments.

So, dads should be commended, yes. But never patronised. They’re just as much essential to parenting as mums are.

If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the topic, please share them with us!

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Written by

Bianchi Mendoza

fatherhood