X
theAsianparent Logo
theAsianparent Logo
  • Pregnancy
    • Due date calculator
    • I'm pregnant
    • Trying To Conceive
    • Labour
    • After birth
    • Baby loss
  • Parenting
    • Parenting & Play by Friso
    • Parent's Guide
    • Relationship & Sex
  • Ages & Stages
    • Baby
    • Toddler
    • Pre-schooler
    • Kids
    • Pre-teen & Teen
  • Feeding & Nutrition
    • Diseases-Injuries
    • Breastfeeding & Formula
    • Meal Planner
    • Health
    • Allergies & Conditions
    • Vaccinations
  • Education
    • Pre-School
    • Primary School
    • Secondary School
    • Primary School Directory
  • Lifestyle
    • Money
    • Travel & Leisure
    • Fashion
    • Home
    • Fitness
    • Contests & promotions
  • News
    • International
    • Health
    • Celebrity
    • Singapore
  • Money Parenting
    • Tips for Parents
    • Tips for Toddlers
    • Tips for Older Kids
    • The 5 Personas
  • TAP Recommends
  • Shopping
  • Press Releases
  • Project Sidekicks
  • Community
  • Advertise With Us
  • Contact Us
  • Become A Contributor
  • VIP

"After I Gave Birth, My Husband Became Self-Centered and Unsupportive. What Should I Do?"

3 min read
"After I Gave Birth, My Husband Became Self-Centered and Unsupportive. What Should I Do?""After I Gave Birth, My Husband Became Self-Centered and Unsupportive. What Should I Do?"

It’s normal for many new mothers to feel resentment towards their husbands. However, sometimes your partner’s carelessness can endanger your relationship.

After giving birth, it’s normal for many new mothers to feel resentment towards their husbands. It could be postpartum depression, it could be sleepiness, but if you find yourself feeling disproportionally angry towards your husband for small things, it’s probably just the post-baby crankiness. However, sometimes your partner’s words and actions can be really hurtful, putting your relationship in jeopardy, like what one anonymous theAsianparent Community user experienced:

“Ever since I gave birth to our first child, my husband has been self-centered. He would go for a massage at TCM [Singapore College of Traditional Chinese Medicine], complaining of backaches while I was feeling sore and tired after childbirth. After giving birth, he would go to TCM every week to treat his backache, which was very mild prior to childbirth. Then he started telling my friends I have post-natal blues, but when I ran away from home one day because I was feeling stressed and unloved, he just went to take a nap. However, he was telling everyone how concerned he was. I’m now pregnant with my second child and he’s going to TCM even before I deliver, claiming he has sever backaches. But he’s been doing pull-ups with a new pull-up bar he purchased and going to the gym. I’m giving up. I’m prepared for divorce. We’ve been through counselling but the sessions are expensive. Every cent counts as we are financially strapped too.”

Without knowing all the details of the relationship, it’s tough to give advice on what this user should do, but the theAsianparent Community community rallied behind this mother, offering words of support.

1. Show him positive examples of fatherhood.

Founder of theAsianparent Roshni Mahtani wrote that maybe the husband could use some more positive dad role models: “Maybe he needs to be exposed to more hands-on daddies? How about getting him to also join theAsianparent Community on the dads' channel and be inspired by the dad role models here?”

Yes, he might be encouraged by good examples. However, chances are, if he feels like he’s being attacked, he won’t listen or change, so just gently nudge him towards the right direction if you want to salvage the relationship.

2. Remember that you don’t have to be alone.

“Please surround yourself with other mothers, friends, and family members who are supportive towards you,” wrote Emelie T. It’s important to feel supported, especially during and immediately after a pregnancy, and if your partner is not providing that support, you can turn to family and close friends. You don’t have to be alone.

3. Take care of yourself.

“If your mind is made up about divorce even after counselling, go ahead with your decision and make your life happier,” one anonymous theAsianparent Community user wrote. “I believe your kids wouldn’t want to see you living unhappily.”

While it’s important that we do everything we can to save a marriage, if your partner is not doing his part, separating might be the healthier option. Think about your decision carefully, and encourage him to stay in your children’s lives.

 

Partner Stories
Bathroom Cleaning 101: A Complete Clean in Just 5 Minute Featuring Tips from Zoe Raymond
Bathroom Cleaning 101: A Complete Clean in Just 5 Minute Featuring Tips from Zoe Raymond
Welcoming a Newborn 101: 4 Handy Tips that All New Dads Should Know
Welcoming a Newborn 101: 4 Handy Tips that All New Dads Should Know
Safety First! BeSafe Keeps Your Kids Safe and Comfortable While You Drive in Peace
Safety First! BeSafe Keeps Your Kids Safe and Comfortable While You Drive in Peace
How To Baby Proof Your House in 4 Easy Steps
How To Baby Proof Your House in 4 Easy Steps

Got a parenting concern? Read articles or ask away and get instant answers on our app. Download theAsianparent Community on iOS or Android now!

img
Written by

Cristina Morales

  • Home
  • /
  • Relationship & Sex
  • /
  • "After I Gave Birth, My Husband Became Self-Centered and Unsupportive. What Should I Do?"
Share:
  • The Other Side Of Pain: Husband Cheats After His Wife Gives Birth

    The Other Side Of Pain: Husband Cheats After His Wife Gives Birth

  • 5 Things You Can Do When You Have An Unsupportive Husband

    5 Things You Can Do When You Have An Unsupportive Husband

  • Why it's getting harder to keep baby safe in this world

    Why it's getting harder to keep baby safe in this world

  • "It was like a bad movie." Family of 5 Jumps Off From Their Apartment in Switzerland

    "It was like a bad movie." Family of 5 Jumps Off From Their Apartment in Switzerland

app info
get app banner
  • The Other Side Of Pain: Husband Cheats After His Wife Gives Birth

    The Other Side Of Pain: Husband Cheats After His Wife Gives Birth

  • 5 Things You Can Do When You Have An Unsupportive Husband

    5 Things You Can Do When You Have An Unsupportive Husband

  • Why it's getting harder to keep baby safe in this world

    Why it's getting harder to keep baby safe in this world

  • "It was like a bad movie." Family of 5 Jumps Off From Their Apartment in Switzerland

    "It was like a bad movie." Family of 5 Jumps Off From Their Apartment in Switzerland

Get advice on your pregnancy and growing baby. Sign up for our newsletter
  • Pregnancy
    • Baby
    • Education
    • Events
    • Allergies & Conditions
  • Family Occasions
    • Breastfeeding & Formula
    • Child Safety
    • Health
    • Diseases-Injuries
  • Lifestyle
    • Home
    • Money
    • Feeding & Nutrition
    • Diet & Weightloss
  • Normal Delivery
    • Cesarean Delivery
    • Behaviour
    • Secondary School
    • Formula Feeding
  • Ages & Stages
    • Latching & Concerns
    • Festivals & Holidays
    • Education
    • Pre-teen & Teen
  • More
    • TAP Community
    • Advertise With Us
    • Contact Us
    • Become a Contributor


  • Singapore flag Singapore
  • Thailand flag Thailand
  • Indonesia flag Indonesia
  • Philippines flag Philippines
  • Malaysia flag Malaysia
  • Sri-Lanka flag Sri Lanka
  • India flag India
  • Vietnam flag Vietnam
  • Australia flag Australia
  • Japan flag Japan
  • Nigeria flag Nigeria
  • Kenya flag Kenya
© Copyright theAsianparent 2022. All rights reserved
About Us|Team|Privacy Policy|Terms of Use |Sitemap HTML
  • Tools
  • Articles
  • Feed
  • Poll

We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

theAsianparent heart icon
We’d like to send you notifications for the latest news and updates on baby care and health.