The news of your partner cheating on you alone isn’t easy to swallow. But what if that same partner had an affair and also tried to murder you? Anyone would think that forgiving a cheating partner like that is impossible – but one young wife has showed us otherwise.
Forgiving a cheating partner: Wife stabbed 46 times by hubby, but still wants a family with him
Shannon and Micheal are a young, married couple living in the UK. Not too long after they got married though, Michael started an affair with another woman. One time, he even drugged Shannon and made her drunk, so he could bring his mistress home and have sex with her.
When Shannon eventually found out about the affair, she was furious, and rightly so. She had a massive argument with him and went to sleep on the couch that night.
In the morning, Shannon encountered her husband gripping a huge knife which was aimed right at her. He proceeded to stab her a whopping 46 times with it.
“Extremely Fortunate to have survived”
Shannon was seriously injured in the attack. She had numerous wounds on her limbs and body. Her chest and breasts had 14 injuries, four of which extended into internal organs, and another 10 wounds at her abdomen.
Her lungs had collapsed. Shannon’s hands and arms were also injured as she defended herself. Her body has been tattered with scars that might need skin grafts.
Medical professionals and court officials say that she was “extremely fortunate” to survive the horrific attack.
Shannon was hospitalised for 17 days after the assault. Following the incident she informed police that she remembered ‘every blow’, thinking that she wouldn’t live anymore.
However, the wife is still determined to continue her relationship with him. She officially forgave the 25-year-old in Court, intending to building a family after his release.
In fact, in Michael’s trial, the 21-year-old wished her husband-attacker “all the best” when asked about how she felt about him now. Michael too explained to the court that their relationship had not yet ended.
Shannon’s Facebook post on November 3 clearly shows her undying love for him:
Why did the husband do it?
According to Shannon, something wasn’t right with her husbands personality. She became so fearful of him that she hid a knife under her bed throughout the time they tried to reconcile.
Even during the attack she explains that her hubby “didn’t look like himself”, as though “there were no feelings” and that “he just didn’t care”.
After some psychiatric evaluation, it was discovered that Michael was experiencing a short term adjustment disorder. The cause was likely from a pressure and stress, leading to extreme anxiety, paranoia, emotional thoughts, and aggressive outbursts.
The disorder did not influence his ability to have intentions to murder, though.
The Judge overseeing the couple’s case says that Michael’s affair, along with other issues, likely sparked the disorder.
Was he punished?
At first, Michael was charged with sexually assaulting the other woman. However, he pointed out that the victim had given him permission for ‘passionate sex’.
Later on, the court trial charged the brutal hubby 20 years of imprisonment after concluding that he was guilty of attempted murder. However, he wasn’t convicted for sexual assault.
Michael’s lawyer, David Taylor, said that he was sorry and felt guilty for his actions — but only after being convicted.
The would-be murderer is now taking medicine. A psychiatrist has assessed him as highly unlikely to relapse into another mental disorder again.
Mr Taylor argued that both of them should be granted permission to live together even though it was miraculous that Shannon survived her massive injuries.
The Judge in the trial, while charging Mr Barnard of 20 years imprisonment, gave the couple another chance at rebuilding their life, saying:
“He still has a wife, they still have a future together and want to continue a relationship. Serious although it could have been, and serious although the actions were, having spoken as mature adults they have resolved to continue their life together when allowed to do so.”
Forgiving a cheating partner: Tips for spouses to note
Forgiving a cheating partner isn’t easy. Calm down first and think through the situation – as well as if you’ll be able to start over. | Image Source: Stock Photo
Recovering from being betrayed is no joke. It may take months or years, but it always involves making difficult decisions. Whether or not you choose the road to moving on or forgiving a cheating partner, mending things and starting anew, a period of reflection preceding this decision is necessary. How can you know forgiving a cheating partner is worthwhile? What makes a relationship worth salvaging?
Ask yourself the three questions below. They will help guide you on deciding whether or not forgiving a cheating partner is the right choice.
1. Is your relationship damaged beyond repair?
Ask yourself: have conditions spiraled to the point of no return? Is there no way back to where you once were? If you see a glimmer of hope, don’t give in so easily. However, take note that research shows cheaters will most likely cheat again. So, trust your gut – if it doesn’t feel like a good idea, do it. Your first instinct is often your best and healthier instinct.
It also helps to gauge just how hurt you are, suggests Dr. David Bedrick of Psychology Today. Betrayal, he says, is a violation of an agreement which results in an injury. It’s up to you to determine if this injury is beyond help.
2. Is your partner sincerely remorseful and willing to work at it?
After being unfaithful and asking for forgiveness, assess your partner’s level of sincerity. Does he or she appear to honestly regret their betrayal? If it feels like the “remorse” is just true on the surface level, or to win you over, there’s a possibility that they could hurt you all over again? You know your partner best and you can easily tell if they’re exhibiting genuine humility and if they’re taking responsibility for their actions.
However, that doesn’t mean you should forgive them instantly if they are genuinely remorseful. Reflecting on this can help you make a decision that best suits you.
3. Are you ready to make a leap and trust them again?
Once you’ve assessed the situation, it’s time to look inwardly. Reflect on your feelings and your emotional capacity to accept, forgive, and commit to working out a solution with your partner. Are you ready to risk getting hurt again? Are you ready to define boundaries and express your fears, trusting your partner to work with you to recover what you lost?
It is possible to bounce back from the heartbreak of being betrayed by someone you dearly loved, but it will take some serious commitment to moving on together, refraining from dredging up past heartaches when things get rough. No matter what your decision will be, make sure you it comes from a place of genuine honesty, with your partner as well as yourself.
Reference: Unilad
Also Read:
Abuse, manipulation and deceit: This Singapore mum bares all
Should you forgive a cheating spouse? Here are 3 Questions to ask yourself
How can you fix your marriage after cheating on your spouse?
To my partner who cheated on me while I was pregnant
