What if he cries? What if he is scared? What if he doesn’t like the teachers and friends? What if he cannot understand? What if he does not want to board the school bus? What if he is hungry?
I can still clearly remember my son’s first day to K1 was full of many “what if's” that you can imagine and name. I believe many mothers would share the same sentiments. My son’s first day to school was filled and mixed with both excitement and anxiety. I got even more nervous and jumpy than he does.
As I saw him hoping around happily getting all ready for school, the feeling I had on the day we are expecting his arrival in the delivery suite returns again. We were worried that he did not want to board the school bus as it was his first time travelling alone. Surprisingly, he got up the school bus steadily and waved us goodbye warmly. Tears starting to roll… but were on my face rather than my kid's which I cannot explain why.
Bus… bus… why the public bus is not here yet? I rushed to the bus stop to catch the first bus that goes to the centre just hoping to catch a glimpse of him. As each bus passes, I got more and more nervous as the bus I needed to take is not here yet. I was worried that I will miss the sight of him going into the centre. More “what if” hits me.
What if he vomits in the bus? What if the bus suddenly stops? What if he is hit by others?... My mind was still very pre-occupied with these thoughts as I board the bus and arrive at the centre. I hid so that he cannot see me. But probably my plump figure gave me away as he smiled at me warmly as he spotted me behind the wall. Some children cried. I stayed outside the centre with fully closed blinds hoping I can peep inside but not of much luck.
The rhythm of different “crying symphony” subsided. I stayed close to an hour after the school started before I finally let go a long sigh of relief. It is time to accept that my little baby has grown. He is brave as he takes his first step with composure and cool. It is time I put aside all my “What if” and place trust, belief and faith in my precious son that he is all ready to begin his learning journey.
Go for it, son!
