What a Female Orgasm Looks Like: The O Project Photos, and Why 35% of Women Miss Out

What does a female orgasm LOOK like in reality? These pictures were taken right here in Singapore by photographer Marcos Alberti!

Marcos Alberti built a curtain with a hole just big enough for his lens, sat behind it, and photographed more than 20 women’s faces before, during and after orgasm. The 2017 project, made with the Singapore-founded sexual wellness brand Smile Makers, showed something films and the internet almost never do: what a real one looks like. Mostly, it looks like laughing.

The photographs are below, along with the part that matters more for the women reading this: why the “O” is rarer for women than men, and what changes that.

Real orgasm faces look like relief and giggling, not the cinema version, and the bigger truth behind the photos is the gap: 95% of straight men say they usually climax with a partner, against 65% of straight women.

The gap isn’t anatomy. It closes when clitoral stimulation, time and honest talk are part of sex, and every one of those is learnable.

The O Project

Alberti had already made his name with 3 Glasses, a series of portraits taken after one, two and three glasses of wine. The O Project used the same four-frame structure. Each woman was photographed in a neutral state, then twice more as she used a personal massager alone, and once afterwards. Nothing below the shoulders appears. The women came from countries as different as the United States, France, China and Singapore, and none were models.

“One of my main concerns about this project was to make every woman feel comfortable in the studio,” Alberti said. “I designed a curtain with a small hole for the camera, but I didn’t know if these women would forget that I was there, but they all did. Real expressions, they were not acting or faking it.”

Fan Yang, then Smile Makers’ global brand manager, said the fourth frame was the point: “All the women who modelled were in awe of their photos, especially the final shot where they were glowing and radiant. That final shot, of a strong female grinning into the camera, is exactly what we want people to see.”

The orgasm gap

The largest study on this, published in 2017 in the Archives of Sexual Behavior by David Frederick and colleagues, surveyed more than 52,000 American adults. Among heterosexual men, 95% said they usually or always reached orgasm during sex with a partner. Among heterosexual women the figure was 65%. Lesbian women reported 86%, a number that points squarely at what happens during sex instead of at women’s bodies.

The same study found the women most likely to climax were those who received oral sex, whose partners spent longer on foreplay, who felt able to ask for what they wanted, and who were in relationships where sex was talked about. In other words: attention, time, and words.

After a baby

For most mothers reading this, the more pressing question isn’t the photographs but why desire and orgasm feel further away than they used to. A few things are true at once:

Hormones. Breastfeeding keeps oestrogen low, which reduces desire and natural lubrication. It’s temporary, and a water-based lubricant helps in the meantime. If feeding itself is painful or draining, one of the lactation consultants in Singapore can sort out latch problems that make the whole day harder.
Tiredness. Nobody climaxes on four hours of broken sleep. Sex that starts at 11pm after the last feed is competing with unconsciousness.
The pelvic floor. Birth stretches it, and orgasm depends on it. Pelvic floor exercises rebuild both control and sensation, and a women’s health physiotherapist can help if things feel different at the six-week check or beyond.
Pain. Sex that hurts after birth, whether from a healing tear, a caesarean scar or dryness, is common and treatable. It’s something to tell your gynaecologist about, not push through. Scar tissue can cause trouble well past the delivery too, as women who’ve dealt with the caesarean scar niche and secondary infertility can attest.
Time of day. Couples with young children who keep a sex life tend to have moved it to the afternoon nap or the morning.

Feeling at home in your body again takes longer than the internet suggests, and comparing yourself to a celebrity’s before-and-after photo helps nobody. It’s worth reading the realistic postpartum weight-loss timeline before you decide your body is the problem.

What makes orgasm more likely

Clitoral stimulation, every time. Most women don’t climax from penetration alone. Hands, mouth or a toy before, during or instead of intercourse changes the odds more than anything else on this list.
Knowing your own body first. Women who masturbate report higher orgasm rates with partners, because they can say what works.
Saying it out loud. “Slower”, “there”, “don’t stop” are complete sentences. Partners can’t read minds, and most would rather know.
Dropping the goal. Pressure to perform, from either side, is the fastest way to lose one. Sex where orgasm is welcome but not required tends to produce more of them.
Getting help for the medical bits. Persistent pain, no desire for months, or never having had an orgasm are all things gynaecologists and sex therapists see every week.

About that glow

The fourth frame in every sequence shows a woman who looks, for want of a better word, lit up. There’s ordinary physiology behind it. Arousal and orgasm increase blood flow to the skin, which is where the flush comes from, and the release of oxytocin and endorphins afterwards is the same chemistry behind the post-run high. Claims that orgasm prevents wrinkles are marketing. Claims that it improves sleep, mood and closeness are well supported, and for a tired parent, that’s the better deal anyway.

Common questions

What does a female orgasm look like?

In the O Project photographs, it looks like laughter, closed eyes, a flushed face and, afterwards, a wide grin. The dramatic version in films is acting. Real expressions vary from woman to woman and from one time to the next.

What’s the orgasm gap?

The difference in how often men and women climax during partnered sex. In a 2017 study of more than 52,000 adults, 95% of heterosexual men said they usually or always orgasm, compared with 65% of heterosexual women.

Why is it harder for women to orgasm?

Mostly because sex often centres on penetration, and most women need direct clitoral stimulation. Women who receive oral sex, have longer foreplay and feel able to ask for what they want report much higher rates.

Is it normal to have no orgasm after having a baby?

Yes, for a while. Low oestrogen from breastfeeding, exhaustion, pain from healing and a weakened pelvic floor all play a part. If it lasts many months, or sex hurts, tell your gynaecologist. These things are treatable.

Who photographed the O Project?

Marcos Alberti, a Brazilian photographer, in partnership with the sexual wellness brand Smile Makers, in 2017. Each woman was photographed four times: before, during and after orgasm.

Closing the gap at your place

Look at the photographs once and you’ll stop measuring yourself against whatever you’ve seen on a screen. Then take the statistic home with you, because 65% isn’t a fixed property of the female body. Clitoral stimulation, unhurried time and a few plain words shift most of it, and after a baby, so does letting a healing body set the pace. Your partner probably wants to know what works. Tell them.