My baby was 8-months-old when I was ready to resume my sexual life. After such a long gap, I simply couldn’t wait to feel my husband’s touch again. Even he was quite excited that I was finally up to it. We both wanted to give each other a super-special experience. But within a few minutes, it turned into a complete nightmare. As my husband tried to enter me, I had excruciating vaginal pain. That’s when we realized that the doctor had given me extra episiotomy stitches. Yes, he had given me the infamous, husband stitch.
What is the husband stitch?
“Husband stitches” are, essentially, extra episiotomy stitches. An episiotomy is done when the space between your vagina and anus splits, or is cut, during birth.
The extra “husband” stitches are supposed to tighten your vagina for “extra pleasure” for your partner during sex, once recommended.
The “husband stitch” has more or less remained an urban myth… until now. Many mums are now coming out and sharing the reality of the “husband stitch” or “daddy stitch,” which is usually done without the woman’s consent or knowledge.
The practice is considered highly sexist by many. And while it’s supposed to be done for the male’s pleasure, it results in more pain for the woman.
Episiotomy stitches: Husband stitch is not a myth
There is no study that gives an exact number of how many women have been affected. However, women have started to open up and share their experiences.
Among many others, Alicia Wanstall Burke recently took to social media and shared that this happened to her. She said: “Hello! Yes, this happened to me! Not sure it was a purposeful thing done by the doctor, but I had to have reconstructive surgery to fix it. Hence, no more vaginal births for me!”
Episiotomy stitches are normal, but not “husband stitches”. Image: Instagram
Raquel Rosario Sanchez also shared in a Tweet that, “It’s not a myth. I’ve got cousins subjected to this unnecessary pain because a doctor wanted to ‘please’ their husbands.”
Neve said, “The doctor that sewed me up after delivery actually said this to me.”
Venetia Booth said that it happened to her as well. She also stated that the hospital never took her consent and that she had to get it rectified.
What happens during an episiotomy?
Image: Instagram
During childbirth, there’s a possibility of a natural vaginal tear. Or sometimes, doctors purposefully cut the tender perineum tissues to facilitate a smoother delivery.
After delivery, this tear, whether natural or purposefully done, has to be stitched up. This is when some doctors are said to be adding in that extra stitch for tighter vaginas, keeping in mind the man’s pleasure when they resume sex.
What do experts say about it?
ObGyn Jesanna Cooper, MD says that whatever manner the vaginal tear happens, it is not possible to make the vagina tighter with stitching. The vaginal tone should not get impacted by a stitch because it has more to do with pelvic floor strength and not the size of your vagina’s opening.
Stitching can create a tightness on the perineum and outer vulva. But whether this gives a different sensation to the sexual partner is uncertain.
Vaginal repair is meant to bring the skin back together so that body’s healing process is facilitated, not to tighten the vagina.6
Yet at the same time, we cannot ignore these mums who have come forward with their stories of the “husband stitch.” So what do you think? Has it happened to you too?
Source: Yahoo Be, Huffington Post, Health Line, You Tube
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