Academic competitiveness is important and some parents do tend to push their kids to get the best out of them. But others can exceed limits and push their children over the edge. It can be concerning when we overlook the effects of pressure on students.
Over competitiveness can be harrowing when some parents set the bar so high that kids often fail to achieve, which only creates a huge void in terms of self-worth and confidence.
In fact, studies have proved that parental pressure can lead to anxiety, depression, substance abuse, suicidal thoughts and more in children. And even then, some parents wouldn’t comprehend where they went wrong with their upbringing. If anything, it highlights the effects of pressure on students.
In a similar incident of overly competitive parents, a 14-year-old Chinese girl’s suicide note is now doing the rounds on the Internet. The chilling note details what the teenager went through which pushed her over the edge as she chose to take her life rather than listen to the alleged taunts and abuses.
The suicide talks about low scores, constant remarks, and frequent taunts. It’s a gross reminder of the effects of pressure on students.
Teenager’s Chilling Suicide Note Highlight’s Effects Of Pressure On Students
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The letter reads, “I was honored to have met you in this life, but if there is a next, let’s not meet again.“
“Now that I think about it, what you loved wasn’t me. It was me who was among the top 10 of my class, the me who was the top 20 of my year, the me who got full marks on the exam.”
The letter further reads, “Your supposed wonderful elementary school years, relaxed preparations, joyful first year of middle school; I put my life on the line to struggle with them, how can I possibly imagine the hell of second and third year? Though there’s not much to be sad over, it’s you who said I was hopeless, I believe in you.”
The letter further illustrates how the teenager was a victim of ‘tiger’ parenting.
The note reads, “I brought pride to the family, became a representative of tiger parenting, just a tool to one-up your friends. I had to be courteous in front of others, speak politely and civilly on the phone, but after they’re gone, I had to receive the foulest of of insults from you.”
Slaps and whips with a belt were a part of the abuse
The suicide note also talks about the teenage girl being beaten including slaps and whips with a belt or electrical cord.
The chilling suicide note reads, “I couldn’t sleep because I would get beaten or yelled at before bed, and even as I lie I’d hear the continued cruising from the main bedroom, spending my remaining time recalling the misery of that day.”
The teenager also questioned the schooling system and the kind of pressure it puts on kids.
“Chinese people like to say kids go mad from the pressure in school, but isn’t it because of how parents place so much emphasis on grades? Now I understand, it’s because they didn’t know they were wrong, not in the past, not now, and not the slightest chance in the future,” she wrote.
The way kids play is always changing, the amount of homework we’re satisfied with is always being changed, but what was passed down is the previous generation’s “We didn’t have this and that at your age, so we are doing this and that now, which is why you to have to do this and that.”
“How could you possibly have the face to utter such things if you truly are so aware of your failings, we wouldn’t be like this if you were remotely predisposed at it,” she wrote.
I really gave it my all
The girl further said, “You’re not fit to raise a daughter, maybe a son can take it better. But it’s not completely my fault, I really gave it my all, I really can’t take it anymore.”
She ended the note by saying, “Destroying a person is simple, you only have to destroy her childhood, and the rest follows. You destroyed me, so please look after her brother, please stop with this harm. This isn’t a threat, you thought too highly of us, something like self-reflection can just be left to oblivion.”
What The Netizens Think
The chilling suicide note is an eye-opener for competitive parents who think it’s okay to put undue pressure on their kids.
Netizens also reacted to the suicide note, some even opening about their own struggles with depression.
A user on Instagram wrote, “Her whole life was robbed. This is completely heartbreaking.”
Commenting on the post, one user wrote, “I can’t tell you how repetitive suicide thoughts get for Asian children. I know of 8-9-year-old Chinese children who constantly drone on about ending their lives when their parents or friends aren’t around. It’s always the ‘i want to die’ or ‘life is shit’ or the more common ‘give me a…break’. Yes, they’re talking about workload and they’re saying all this at 9…9.”
Another Redditor wrote, “I knew of multiple suicide cases in my elementary school. Police’s response is to call down their whole classes and threaten to arrest us if we spoke about them to members of the public or other students.”
One user shared their own journey through depressions as a child. They wrote, “I was suicidal at 7/8/9 from bullying from my teachers. (Still am) I’m not Asian and the pressure wasn’t from grades but I know what it’s like to be depressed at that age.” The user further describes it as taking the joy out of everything.
It’s just numb. When you grow up with this as an integral part of your life it changes you. I feel I would a much more emphatic person if it had never happened.
My apathy towards people’s suffering, my narcissism. I feel it would never have happened. I feel as if I’m not even a person. Just a skin suit full of apathy and bitterness. I can relate a lot to the above letter.”
Suicide Is The Fourth Leading Cause Of Death In Teenagers
Image courtesy: iStock
A report by the World Health Organisation (WHO) states that over 700,000 people take their own life every year and many more people attempt suicide in a year. It was also the fourth leading cause of death among 15-29 year-olds globally in 2019.
Back home in Singapore, Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) released a report that stated that for youngsters aged between 10 and 29 years, suicide was the leading cause of death.
Social worker Asher Low told ST that teen female suicides in particular was “alarming, as girls in general have always had a lower suicide rate than boys, and to have the numbers almost ‘equal’ is out of the norm.”
The fact is that suicides can destroy families, shatter communities, and leave loved ones traumatised. And this case of the 14-year-old girl allegedly taking her own life is an indication of the insurmountable pressures on young minds.
Hotline Numbers For Suicide Prevention
If you are having suicidal thoughts, or you know someone who is, please reach out to the following numbers and seek help:
Samaritans Of Singapore: 1800-221-4444
Singapore Association For Mental Health: 1800-283-7019
Institute Of Mental Health’s Mobile Crisis Service: 6389-2222
Care Corner Counselling Centre (Mandarin): 1800-353-5800
Silver Ribbon: 6386-1928
Tinkle Friend: 1800-274-4788
Source: Reddit, Instagram
Note: theAsianparent has not been able to independently verify the authenticity of the suicide note.
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