Relationship advice: Don't let it fester

Tell your partner if something they did upset you, and listen to them when they do the same.

Relationship advice: Don't let it fester

The little things matter - whether good or bad. So if you don't like something about your partner, talk it out instead of sulking silently. What may have started out as a small irritation is often blown out of proportion because we let things fester. When you get into the habit of being frank and upfront with each other, a lot of trust is built in your relationship. Moreover, once you get it out of your system by saying it out loud to your partner, you may realize that what had been bothering you really was just a trivial matter after all.

Emotional baggage

None of us like it when during a fight, the other person brings up mistakes we might have made ages ago. So start talking about things as and when they happen, and then let them go. This way, there'll be a lot less baggage to carry around in your relationship. Suppression is not the same as acceptance. Just because you're keeping silent about something that's in fact frustrating you doesn't mean that you've accepted it or that you're being the bigger person. If you genuinely can't get over it but stubbornly don't discuss it, it could lead to frequent misunderstandings, dissatisfaction and culminate in a huge fight that could scar your relationship terribly.

Listen with an open mind

In the same way, if you notice that something might be bothering your partner, encourage them to share their frustration with you. Pay attention to their body language and give them complete attention when they need it. Be brave enough to welcome negative feedback and listen to their grievances with an open mind. It's okay to say sorry if you've hurt them, as this may be all it takes to have a happier relationship.

Help not hurt

It's essential to help one another grow within a relationship. If we don't point out their mistakes, probably no one else will. Likewise, when they bring up something about us that needs change, we should appreciate the gesture. Yet, no one really likes to be berated or put down by those they love. Hence, we should learn the art of putting things across lovingly, gently and constructively. The intention shouldn't be to hurt, but to help. When we mature and become more sensitive, so will our relationships.

Written by

Roshni Mahtani

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