A 39-year-old woman was apprehended under the Mental Health Act yesterday (May 12) after a fight broke out between her and her husband, resulting in a smashed ashtray and injuries sustained by both parties.
The incident took place in the wee hours of the morning at Block 207C, Punggol Place, the police told AsiaOne.
Blood was splattered across the walls and floor outside the flat, as well as within the unit’s living room, a Lianhe Wanbao reporter observed. There was also a white t-shirt stained with blood at the scene.
A neighbour told the Chinese evening daily they started hearing sounds of an argument coming from the couple’s flat around midnight.
Another resident recounted how she was woken up by the pair’s yelling, as well as the crying of a child. She opened her door and saw police officers standing outside.
She said: “I could only see a woman sitting on the ground saying: ‘I didn’t hit him, I didn’t hit him.'”
It was believed that during the couple’s argument, someone had smashed an ashtray, injuring both of them. However, they refused to be taken to hospital.
Before the circuit breaker started on April 7, Minister for Social and Family Development Desmond Lee said in Parliament that he noted a trend in “higher rates of domestic violence, domestic quarrels and friction in the family” in countries that had imposed movement restrictions.
On April 23, the ministry observed a 14 per cent increase in enquiries related to domestic violence and conflict as compared to the previous two weeks. Meanwhile, family violence specialists centres and PAVE Integrated Services for Individual and Family Protection saw a 37 per cent increase.
The task force on family violence, co-chaired by Senior Parliamentary Secretary for Home Affairs Sun Xueling and Senior Parliamentary Secretary for Social and Family Development Muhammad Faishal Ibrahim, has since stepped up support for victims of family violence when their cases go into the criminal justice system.
Associate Professor Faishal added: “During this circuit breaker period, we can and will continue to collectively help families manage stress so that family conflicts do not escalate into violence.”
Lockdown Putting Strain on Relationships
According to American psychology researcher John Gottman, there are certain behaviours, or the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” that could cause even the most tight knitted romantic relationships to dissolve, especially during trying times like the lockdown.
But by being aware of these behaviours, you can better manage the situation and improve communication with your partner.
1) Criticism
The first horseman is criticism. In face of stress, you might unknowingly begin to pick on your partner and his/her faults.
Spending longer hours with your partner in the same confined space can feel like a test of patience. It is also a time when you find yourself learning more about your partner. From how he or she is like while working from home to little habits you never knew existed.
Photo: iStock
2) Contempt
The second horseman is contempt.
It means to treat others with disrespect, mock them with sarcasm, ridicule, call them names, and mimic or use body language such as eye-rolling or scoffing, according to Gottman.
It is also said to be the single greatest predictor of divorce.
So many things are demanding attention at the same time: a balancing act between work commitments, taking care of children and the household among other duties. You might even feel like you are doing all the work, which could unknowingly lead to contempt.
3) Defensiveness
The third horseman is defensiveness—a response to criticism.
Frustrations could build up as you try to keep it altogether, not wanting to step on each other’s toes further. At times when you are stretched so thin from the day’s work and yet get attacked and criticised by your partner, sometimes all you can do is manage an excuse.
Excuses or not, being defensive is just “a way of blaming your partner” which leaves them to think that their concerns are not taken seriously. But know that it never bodes well, especially if you are seeking to settle conflicts healthily.
4) Stonewalling
Ever found your spouse tuning out, acting busy or engaging in obsessive or distracting behaviours rather than confront the issue with you head on?
The forth horseman stonewalling, according to Gottman, occurs when the listener withdraws from the interaction, shuts down, and simply stops responding to their partner.
Photo: iStock
At this point, he/she who is “stonewalling” is not in a rational state to discuss matters. In such a conflict, it would help to give your partner some time and space to calm down before coming back to handle this matter.
Resolving a conflict might take time and it can be difficult to face your partner, but these times will pass. With a little more support and understanding, you will be able to pull through. You can also read more about tips on how to tackle these four horseman here.
This article was first published on AsiaOne, edited and republished on theAsianparent with permission.
Featured image from Google Maps via Chuming SG.
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