'If She Quits Her Job I Expect Her to Cover All the Housework'
Is it fair to expect the stay-at-home parent to take on the bulk of the housework and cooking and cleaning? The man did say he's willing to help out on weekends, so it's not like he's refusing to help at all.
The man’s wife then told him she’s “not a housekeeper” and he is being “lazy and discriminating against women.” Do you think that’s fair?
It’s a very old fashioned belief to think that the woman stays home and takes care of the kids and the housework while the man goes off to work to bring home the bacon, so to speak.
But if that sort of arrangement works for your family, then who’s to say there’s anything wrong with that? The way couples negotiate their input into the family’s domestic duties is their own business.
Unless one of them posts about it on the internet. Then we guess everyone’s entitled to their opinion!
“My wife wants to quit her job”
A man has posted to Reddit asking for some perspective on his current situation, to which his wife has proposed a change.
“My wife wants to quit her job. She wants to be a stay-home mother to spend more time on with 4-year-old daughter and stop leaving her at daycare centres,” the man wrote in his post to Reddit.
“In order for her to do that, I would have to sign for a higher paying job schedule, about 2 hours more per day and occasionally half-day on Saturdays. I told her that I if she quits her job then I expect her to cover all the housework. I may not be splitting the chores with her, since having longer working hours is rather tiring. I will still help out on weekends but during weekdays I rather rest.”
It did not go down well…
“My wife then told me she that is not a housekeeper and I am being lazy and discriminating against women,” he continued.
“I don’t really mean that, as I think it is fair that if she stops contributing to our household income she can handle all the housework. I will also become the sole breadwinner and work extra hard to support the family.”
The man said he agrees that his wife should be able to spend more time with their daughter, but the household income is already tight at as it is. He’s asked if he’s being ‘an asshole’ by insisting that with his additional work hours, she should take care of the bulk of the ‘work’ at home.
“She sounds lazy”
Most people swayed towards the man’s side of the debate, agreeing that the person not working outside of the home should be taking care of the work inside the home.
“Being a stay at home parent means taking care of the house while the other parent takes care of the income,” commented one person. “It’s not discrimination against women, since it would be the same logic if you were a woman working full time and she was a stay at home husband.”
Another said, “She sounds lazy. Does she ever plan on going back to work? Isn’t the child about to start school? Wtf does she plan on doing all day?”
One said they’re in a relationship where both partners work, but if one person stopped working, they would take on the household chores: “There’s no f**king way either of us would expect the one who is at work for 50+ hours a week to ALSO do all the cooking and cleaning.”
Some even pointed out the wife wants equality, so is getting it – equality in the level of work that goes into their family!
And perhaps the most practical response was this: “If you have to pick up that many extra hours to support the household it sounds like you can’t afford to lose her income. Being the sole breadwinner is risky too should anything happen to your job. Would wife consider part-time hours?”
What do you think? Is it fair to expect the stay-at-home parent to take on the bulk of the housework and cooking and cleaning? The man did say he’s willing to help out on weekends, so it’s not like he’s refusing to help at all.