7 worst discipline mistakes smart parents make
Do you bribe you kids a little too often to get things done? Is yelling at them your way of getting them to listen to you? You may be making a big mistake - discipline-wise. Fear not, you are not alone. But there are other ways of handling toddler tantrums and the like. Read on to find out what there are.
Click next to see ways to handle such situations..
How would you handle this situation? We have all found ourselves in similar situations and disciplining young kids can be a daunting task to many of us. Below, we take a look at 7 discipline mistakes even the best of us could make. We also offer ways you could handle the given situations.
Losing your temper
The alternative: time outs aren’t just for kids. If you feel your temper rising take a minute, regain your calm and use reason to talk to your kid. Kids actually react better to calm requests than demands.
The alternative: experts say, save the ‘NO’ for truly dangerous situations like if they stick their fingers in an electrical socket. Instead tell them what you want them to do. Also explain WHY they shouldn’t do what you’re asking them not to instead of just demanding. For instance, if your kid grabs his sister by her hair, instead of yelling NO, say "look, you are hurting your sister and it’s making her sad". Also use positive parenting by praising them if they listen to you.
We don’t play by the rules
The alternative: it is very difficult to keep our emotions in check all the time. So if our emotions get the better of us and we slip-up, apologize. If your kid points out your slip-up, don’t be arrogant and tell them to mind their own business. Acknowledge that they are right and apologize.
The alternative: instead of bribing for good behaviour, experts say that reinforcing good behaviour is more effective. So instead of saying ‘if you are good at the supermarket today, I will buy you candy’, try ‘I’m so proud of how you behaved at the supermarket today. You were a very good girl’. Similarly if your child didn’t behave well you can say ‘The way you behaved at the supermarket today made me sad’. It may seem a bit harsh, but this helps develop your child’s conscience.
The alternative: don’t make promises you can’t keep. In this case – threats. Set limits and follow through. Be straightforward with rules you make. No negotiations. If she acts upon your request, then thank her for doing so.
Setting your expectations too high
The alternative: experts say that very young kids are not wired to automatically know social norms. The kid sees colourfully packaged candy and instinctively wants it. The easy option would be to not take him to the supermarket again. But then again, that wouldn’t teach him to behave well at a supermarket. Expect to gently remind him quite a few times before he behaves in the way you expect him to and when he does, praise his good behavior.
One method of discipline doesn’t suit every child
The alternative: analyse your child’s personality well before doling out punishment. What works for your daughter may not work for your son. Apart from this, different ages require different methods of discipline. You cannot expect an 18 month old to respond to time-out the same way a 4 year old will.