Singaporean woman marries man who allegedly abused her daughter!
"My daughters were very close to him and even treated him like he was their dad. That's why I was shocked that he would abuse my older girl."
Even after her fiance abused her child, a Singaporean woman still got engaged to him, and believes the fiancé will turn over a new leaf.
The air-conditioning technician was jailed after pleading guilty to 2 counts of ill-treating the child and one count of criminal intimidation. Two other counts of ill-treating her and an unrelated charge of voluntarily causing hurt were taken into consideration during sentencing.
Singapore woman marries child abuser
The 32-year-old waitress told The New Paper that she is currently pregnant with his child and that she has forgiven him, by giving him one last chance. She currently has two daughters; the ill-treated girl, who is now eight and in Primary Two, and her sister, who is seven.
She added, “I’m confident that my fiancé’s stint behind bars will help him turn over a new leaf.”
Before sentencing him, District Judge Luke Tan said that what he had done to the child was cruel.
“Now that you are going to be a father, I hope you take the time to reflect on what you had done,” he added.
For each count of abuse, the man could have been jailed up to four years and fined up to $4,000.
She had divorced the father of her daughters in 2013 because of his drug problems, after 9 years of marriage. The man is currently behind bars for drug-related offences and had been in and out of jail many times.
He placed a lit cigarette near the girl’s private parts…
On 12 January 2015, the man, who is not named to protect the victim’s identity, had forced the girl to perform half squats for about 15 minutes and reportedly placed a lit cigarette that he was smoking near her private parts for a few minutes.
It was reported that he was in a fit of anger after thinking that his girlfriend’s daughter had been rude to him. He also suspected her aunt of instigating her to behave disrespectfully towards him.
The girl’s aunt wanted to inform the police about the incident in which the man then threatened to kill the family.
Deputy Public Prosecutor Kong Kuek Foo told the court yesterday that the man decided to punish the girl until she revealed the identity of the person who had taught her to “show attitude”.
On 10 February, the man went to the girl’s school on his motorcycle at around 2pm to take her home. When he met her teacher, he was told that the girl had said there was no one at home to guide her in her studies.
Upset, he pinched the girl on her left thigh while they were walking to his motorbike. When they reached a carpark near their home, he took off her helmet and allegedly slapped her hard on the left cheek. He then slapped her left cheek again when they were outside the flat.
Rubbed chilli padi on her lips…
He slapped her again later in the afternoon and shouted at her and after asking her to bring him chilli padi from the fridge, he rubbed them on her lips.
He was still rubbing chilli padi on her lips when police officers arrived at the flat.
The girl was taken to KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital, where she was found to have injuries, including bruises on her left thigh and forehead, and a wound on her scalp.
The man had been living with the family in their one-room rental flat in Telok Blangah at the time of the offences. Although the woman insisted that he was not a violent man, she reportedly mentioned that he had slapped her once last year because of relationship problems.
She added that he was “under a lot of stress” when he ill-treated the child on Jan 12 last year. She was also there when he was abusing her daughter. She said: “I had never seen him abusing my kids before this. My girl was crying in pain. I was also in tears and begged him to stop. I tried to stop him but couldn’t because he is much stronger than I.”
She called the police on both incidents of the previously mentioned abuse.
She mentioned that the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) officers went to her home a few days later and took her daughters away.
She said: “The girls are now living with my ex-husband’s mother and I haven’t seen them for about a year. I’ve gone to her flat many times, but I wasn’t allowed to see my girls.”
“I’m now living alone in my flat and I miss my daughters so much. I hope they will be returned to me soon,” she added.
What does the MSF say?
MSF has reported that its Child Protective Service was involved in the case last year because of safety concerns for the child.
Its spokesman added: “Subsequently, the child was placed under her grandparents’ care as they were protective and were also looking after her younger sibling. Support services were also put in place to ensure the children’s safety and well-being. The mother is presently supported by various help agencies to work on her parenting and ability to care for the children in future.”
The woman mentioned that she won’t hesitate to call the police if the man were to harm her daughters again. She also added that “he can rot in jail after that.”
For now, she is looking forward to her boyfriend’s release and their upcoming marriage.
Experts told the New Paper that the mother should seriously weigh the pros and cons before marrying the man who ill-treated her daughter.
Counsellor John Vasavan said: “However, you can’t stop her if she finally decides to marry him. It’s her choice.”
He also mentioned that her ties with her daughter could be badly affected if she decides to marry the girl’s tormentor. He added that the man could turn over a new leaf when he is released from prison.
“As she grows older, the girl may feel betrayed. She may also feel that her mother chose her abuser over her. As a result, the girl may distance herself from her mum.”
Mr David Kan, founder of Family Life First and its senior counsellor mentioned that “She might still be traumatised. She needs professional help from people like counsellors and psychologists to help her get through her ordeal.”
“Like the mother and daughter, the man also needs professional help to get him back on track,” he said.
What are your thoughts on this issue? Do share them with us.
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