X
theAsianparent Logo
theAsianparent Logo
Product GuideSign in
  • Awards
    • Parents' Choice Awards 2023
  • Pregnancy
    • Due date calculator
    • I'm pregnant
    • Trying To Conceive
    • Labour
    • After birth
    • Baby loss
  • Parenting
    • Parent's Guide
    • Relationship & Sex
  • Child
    • Newborn
    • Baby
    • Toddler
    • Pre-Schooler
    • Kid
    • Pre-Teen & Teen
  • Feeding & Nutrition
    • Diseases-Injuries
    • Breastfeeding & Formula
    • Meal Planner
    • Health
    • Allergies & Conditions
    • Vaccinations
  • Education
    • Pre-School
    • Primary School
    • Secondary School
    • Primary School Directory
  • Lifestyle
    • Money
    • Travel & Leisure
    • Fashion
    • Home
    • Fitness
    • Contests & promotions
  • News
    • International
    • Health
    • Celebrity
    • Singapore
  • TAP Recommends
  • Shopping
  • Press Releases
  • Project Sidekicks
  • Community
  • Advertise With Us
  • Contact Us
  • Become A Contributor
  • VIP

Winning with Your In-Laws

3 min read
Winning with Your In-Laws

Discover some practical tips on how to foster a good relationship with your in-laws, and you're well on your way to a happy household.

In-laws can be a great source of support in marriage, but their good intentions can sometimes come across as meddlesome. How do you find that delicate balance between your independence and their involvement? Here are five tips on how you can love and honour your spouse’s parents while safeguarding your own marriage.

 

  1. Carve your own family values, while respecting theirs.

    asian family talking

    No two families are alike, or do things exactly the same way. Unless these differences are contrary to your beliefs, what you learn about your spouse’s family can add a rich dimension to your marriage. Focus on the positive qualities of your respective family backgrounds. How can you build on those qualities?By contrast, some differences can be unsettling if one of you came from a dysfunctional or abusive background. Talk honestly with your spouse about patterns you don’t want to continue. By doing this, you can gain better control over your reactions and interactions with your in-laws.

  2. Communicate your plans but listen to their perspective.

    lady listening

    In-laws very often just want to share from their own experience or see that you don’t make the same mistakes they did. While the advice may not always be applicable for your situation, sharing the decisions you’ve made as a couple makes them feel valued and honoured. Where you will live, when you plan to have kids, how you want to raise them, etc. You don’t have to share every detail, but just letting them in on some of your plans can build trust and respect in the relationship.

  3. Establish boundaries.

    shocked lady

    We’ve all heard horror stories about when in-laws drop in unannounced. These incidents can be embarrassing and intrude on a couple’s privacy. To avoid this, ask your in-laws to phone before coming and do the same for them. Physical boundaries should also be mirrored by emotional boundaries. Agree to not involve your parents when private couple issues need to be worked out. Without boundaries in place, well-meaning advice from parents could undermine your independence as a new family unit and affect the marriage.

  4. Spend time intentionally.


    cny grandparents
    What can warm the hearts of parents more than knowing you care about them? By initiating ‘family time’ with your in-laws, you’re telling them that they are valuable to you.

    Festive occasions offer great potential for hurt because both sides of the family expect you to spend time with them. Parents wonder, Will they be coming to my house – and on which day? Before emotions get bruised, seek a compromise that seems fair to both families. But always remind them that what truly counts is that the family is together.

  5.  Be there for them during tough times.

    Winning with Your In-Laws
    How we respond to accidents, financial crises, illness or death often determines whether we grow together as families.

 

No matter how hard you try, you may never reach the place where your in-law relationships are ideal. Though you’ve done your best, you may need to extend forgiveness and keep trying. But you’ll find great blessing in fostering a good relationship with them.

 

Do you have any other tips on getting along well with in-laws? We’d love to hear from you!

Partner Stories
Great ideas for gifts for Chinese New Year 2023!
Great ideas for gifts for Chinese New Year 2023!
Learn Tech and Media Skills, Gain Industry Exposure and Build a Portfolio. Here’s How Your Child Can Benefit from an Infocomm or Media CCA!
Learn Tech and Media Skills, Gain Industry Exposure and Build a Portfolio. Here’s How Your Child Can Benefit from an Infocomm or Media CCA!
Korean Stars Take Center Stage at Disney Content Showcase in Singapore
Korean Stars Take Center Stage at Disney Content Showcase in Singapore
Health is Your Greatest Wealth. Learn How Your CPF Savings Can Safeguard Your Healthcare Needs and Provide Peace of Mind
Health is Your Greatest Wealth. Learn How Your CPF Savings Can Safeguard Your Healthcare Needs and Provide Peace of Mind

Used with permission from Focus on the Family Singapore. For more information on family life resources and workshops, visit www.family.org.sg.

© 2015 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. International copyright secured

Got a parenting concern? Read articles or ask away and get instant answers on our app. Download theAsianparent Community on iOS or Android now!

img
Written by

Focus On The Family

  • Home
  • /
  • Parenting Advice by BRAND'S® AlphaMynd
  • /
  • Winning with Your In-Laws
Share:
  • Do you have a "monster-in-law"?

    Do you have a "monster-in-law"?

  • 7 Ways You're Unknowingly Making Your in-laws Hate You

    7 Ways You're Unknowingly Making Your in-laws Hate You

  • Melissa Faith Yeo Claims Andie Chen Accused Her of Cheating to Get Pity Votes for Star Awards

    Melissa Faith Yeo Claims Andie Chen Accused Her of Cheating to Get Pity Votes for Star Awards

  • I Try Tracy Lee's Hack for Egg Tarts and It's So Easy That Even Kids Can Make it

    I Try Tracy Lee's Hack for Egg Tarts and It's So Easy That Even Kids Can Make it

  • Do you have a "monster-in-law"?

    Do you have a "monster-in-law"?

  • 7 Ways You're Unknowingly Making Your in-laws Hate You

    7 Ways You're Unknowingly Making Your in-laws Hate You

  • Melissa Faith Yeo Claims Andie Chen Accused Her of Cheating to Get Pity Votes for Star Awards

    Melissa Faith Yeo Claims Andie Chen Accused Her of Cheating to Get Pity Votes for Star Awards

  • I Try Tracy Lee's Hack for Egg Tarts and It's So Easy That Even Kids Can Make it

    I Try Tracy Lee's Hack for Egg Tarts and It's So Easy That Even Kids Can Make it

Get advice on your pregnancy and growing baby. Sign up for our newsletter
  • Pregnancy
    • Baby
    • Education
    • Events
    • Allergies & Conditions
  • Family Occasions
    • Breastfeeding & Formula
    • Child Safety
    • Health
    • Diseases-Injuries
  • Lifestyle
    • Home
    • Money
    • Feeding & Nutrition
    • Diet & Weightloss
  • Normal Delivery
    • Cesarean Delivery
    • Behaviour
    • Secondary School
    • Formula Feeding
  • Ages & Stages
    • Latching & Concerns
    • Festivals & Holidays
    • Education
    • Pre-teen & Teen
  • More
    • TAP Community
    • Advertise With Us
    • Contact Us
    • Become a Contributor


  • Singapore flag Singapore
  • Thailand flag Thailand
  • Indonesia flag Indonesia
  • Philippines flag Philippines
  • Malaysia flag Malaysia
  • Sri-Lanka flag Sri Lanka
  • India flag India
  • Vietnam flag Vietnam
  • Australia flag Australia
  • Japan flag Japan
  • Nigeria flag Nigeria
  • Kenya flag Kenya
© Copyright theAsianparent 2023. All rights reserved
About Us|Team|Privacy Policy|Terms of Use |Sitemap HTML
  • Tools
  • Articles
  • Feed
  • Poll

We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

theAsianparent heart icon
We’d like to send you notifications for the latest news and lifestyle updates.