Why being a single parent rocks!
Being a single parent is hard. Here's a story of a mother who's been pushed into single motherhood even before her baby was born, and reckons single parenting rocks!
At five months pregnant with my first child, I thought I received a death sentence. My significant other suddenly decided that he no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me. He promised to help raise our child, but regardless of what he said, I became a single parent that day. I was depressed, I was scared and I was ashamed. There are a lot of negative stereotypes surrounding single moms and I was embarrassed to be in this group.
Despite me feeling like the world was ending, life went on and before I knew it I was raising my daughter on my own without many issues. It definitely was not the death sentence that I dreaded so much. Now that I am no longer a single parent, I sometimes look back at those times and miss that life. Most don’t admit it, but there are perks to being a single parent.
No Compromise Necessary
Now that I have to compromise with my co-parent about certain aspects of raising our children, I realize how nice it was to not have to compromise. When my daughter was two months old, I pierced her ears one day on a whim. I didn’t need to go home and talk it over with anyone. I didn’t need permission from anyone. Should I vaccinate? Should I use a pacifier? Should I co-sleep?
These were all decisions I made on my own and without argument from the other parent. I did what I wanted and what I thought was right. These days, I have to respect someone else’s opinions. I have to ask their thoughts. I have to give and take.
No Differences of Opinions
When two people from two different families come together with different ideas on parenting and raising children, arguments are a certainty. One parent may be on the softer side while the other believes in firm disciplining.
Eventually disagreements and possibly even fights will occur with both parents believing that they are in the right and their spouse is way off. When you are a single parent, you raise how you feel is right. End of story. There is no fighting. Who are you going to disagree with? Yourself?
Read on to find out why single parenting rocks!
No “It’s Your Turn!”
The hardest thing about being a single parent is that one has to do everything on their own. I will admit that this was tough. However, at least you never have false hope. Hear me out on this one. While I was a single parent, some of my married friends felt bad for me just for the simple fact that I didn’t have help. Then, they would complain that their husbands never helped with cooking, cleaning, or taking care of the children at all.
“So basically you are a single parent then?” I would ask. “Only you have help ten feet away at all times, but he refuses?” I would rather be a single parent than have that situation any day.
The bond that I have with my daughter is unbelievably strong. It was just her and me for a while there and we have become very close. I don’t think we would have been so close had I not been a single mom. I didn’t have the luxury of leaving the kids at home with the husband while I went out with my friends, so my weekends were always spent with my daughter. If I wasn’t at work, I was at home with her. I wouldn’t have traded that time for the world.
Trading Single Mom Status In
After I got over feeling sorry for myself in the beginning of my single mom time, I decided to make our lives the best that I possibly could. I enrolled in college and worked towards a better future for us. Instead of dating and trying to replace her dad every weekend, I focused on my parenting skills, school, and our mother/daughter relationship. My love life was the last thing on my mind, which I feel is the number one mistake single moms make.
I understand the loneliness and definitely felt it myself, but I didn’t force anything and didn’t make it a priority. Almost four years after I became a single mom, I graduated college with two degrees and fell in love with a man who effortlessly fit perfectly into our life. We are now expecting another addition to our family…but this time I won’t be a single mom. However, like I said before, there are already times I miss the single parent awesomeness.