What Giving Birth Is Like, According To 76,000 Mums

We're conducting a market research study on the labour and delivery experiences of mums in Singapore. Please share with us your most recent birthing experience. This survey will take you under 3 minutes to complete.

Nobody tells you what birth is like. You get the antenatal class version, the horror story from a colleague, and whatever the internet served you at 2am.

So here’s what tens of thousands of mothers in our community said: about pain relief, about who they wanted in the room, and about what surprised them.

The epidural question

This is the decision most first-time mothers agonise over, and the answers are more ambivalent than either camp suggests.

“Are you planning to get an epidural for pain relief during labour?” 23,734 votes

49%: Only if it’s really necessary
19%: Yes
16%: I’m not sure yet
16%: No

Almost half are holding it in reserve instead of deciding in advance. That’s good to know if you feel you’re supposed to arrive with a firm position. “I’ll see how it goes” is the most common answer there is.

Asked separately which method of pain relief they’d choose, 62% picked the epidural and 21% laughing gas (4,210 votes).

One practical point that catches people out: an epidural needs an anaesthetist, and there’s a window in labour when it can be given. If you think you might want one, say so early, not at the point you’re certain.

Who’s in the room

“Who do/did you want to be in the delivery room during labour?” 14,301 votes

89%: My husband
8%: My mother
1%: My sister

Nearly nine in ten want their partner and nobody else. If you’re being pressed to have a mother or mother-in-law present and would rather not, you’re firmly in the majority, and it’s your call, not theirs.

Vaginal or caesarean

“Which method of delivery is better?” 5,157 votes: 92% said vaginal, 8% caesarean.

“Which is more painful — normal vaginal delivery or C-section?” 4,365 votes

50%: Can’t compare
28%: Vaginal delivery
22%: C-section

That second result is the one to sit with. Half of mothers who have been through it say the comparison doesn’t work. The pain is differently shaped, not differently sized. Vaginal birth is intense and largely over; a caesarean is major abdominal surgery with a recovery that keeps going for weeks.

The overwhelming preference for vaginal birth is a preference, not a verdict. A great many caesareans aren’t chosen. They’re the outcome of a labour that went a particular way, and there’s no version of that which represents a failure.

What almost nobody plans for

“When did you get back to work after delivery?” 24,180 votes

52%: 4 to 6 months
23%: Other
12%: Took an extended break
7%: 1 to 2 years

Most mothers here go back at four to six months, which lines up with 16 weeks of maternity leave plus some annual leave. Plan around it before the birth, not in the fog afterwards. And Shared Parental Leave rose to 10 weeks in April 2026, which can extend that if you split it deliberately.

What to know beforehand

Labour is usually long. First births especially. The dramatic sudden-birth scene isn’t the norm.
You may not be in hospital as early as you expect. Many women are sent home again in early labour, which is normal and not a rejection.
The after-pains are real. Cramping as the uterus contracts back, often stronger while breastfeeding and stronger with second and later babies. Nobody mentions this.
The first few days of bleeding are heavier than you expect.
Recovery isn’t linear. A good day at week two doesn’t mean you’re finished.
A birth plan is a set of preferences, not a contract. Write one. Hold it loosely.

Frequently asked questions

Do most mothers get an epidural?

Most keep it as an option instead of deciding in advance. In a poll of 23,734 readers, 49% said they’d have one only if it became necessary, 19% planned to have one, 16% were unsure and 16% said no. Asked which form of pain relief they’d choose, 62% picked the epidural and 21% laughing gas.

Who should be in the delivery room?

Whoever you want. In a poll of 14,301 readers, 89% wanted their husband and nobody else, with 8% choosing their mother. If you’re being pressed to include a relative and would rather not, you’re in a large majority, and it’s your decision.

Which is more painful, vaginal delivery or a caesarean?

Half of the 4,365 mothers we asked said the two can’t be compared, with 28% saying vaginal delivery and 22% saying caesarean. The pain is differently shaped, not differently sized. Vaginal birth is intense and largely over, while a caesarean is major surgery with a recovery lasting weeks.

When do most mothers in Singapore return to work?

At four to six months for 52% of the 24,180 readers we asked, which fits 16 weeks of maternity leave plus some annual leave. Shared Parental Leave rose to ten weeks in April 2026, so a couple who plan the split deliberately can extend that a great deal.

What surprises first-time mothers most about giving birth?

How long labour usually takes, being sent home again in early labour, the after-pains as the uterus contracts back, which are stronger while breastfeeding and after later babies, how heavy the first days of bleeding are, and that recovery isn’t linear.

What mothers told us

Almost half of mothers decide on the epidural in the moment, not in advance, so you don’t need a firm position. Nearly nine in ten want only their partner in the room. And half of those who have given birth say vaginal and caesarean pain simply can’t be compared.

Write a birth plan, hold it loosely, and plan the return to work beforehand, not after.