Here's what a vacation looks like before and after you have kids

Do you remember that time — pre-kids — when a vacation meant relaxation, good food and drinks, and lots of 'one-on-one' time?

Of course you do!

Now that you have children, especially little ones, a vacation is possibly more stressful than relaxing and you can't wait to get home from your vacation to 'relax' while the kids are back at school!

Well, we want to help you see the "lighter side" of things! Just click 'Next' to have a good laugh about going on vacations before and after kids!

Before kids...

Yay! It's all so exciting! You're all packed and ready for an amazing vacation!

Between you two, you've got just 2 sleek suitcases packed with sexy swimwear, sexier underwear and some amazing casual wear.

Traveling light is so convenient!

After kids!

3 weeks before your vacation, you create a 3-page checklist of everything you need to take with you (this includes 2 mega packs of diapers, binkies, blankies and an assortment of toys).

2 weeks before your vacation, you pull out various odd and battered pieces of luggage and start packing.

Your 3-year-old unpacks everything while you are in the shower. You pack again. He unpacks again.

You pack and tell him he will never see his binkie again if he unpacks one more time.

You have a total of 8 pieces of mismatched luggage to take, including your kids' dragon and ladybug Trunkies.

On D-day, you march into the airport with your assortment of luggage and the kids riding their Trunkies at what seems like 80km per hour, asking you every minute, "Are we there yet?".

You ignore amused/sympathetic/annoyed looks from others, check in your luggage, and grab your 3-year-old off the luggage belt.

Let the fun times begin!

Before kids...

You and your partner have all the time in the world to relax in the pool while sipping cocktails (or whatever you please, really).

You lazily float in the pool, admiring each other and how good you both look in your swimsuits.

You pose for selfies of yourself relaxing, sipping cocktails and lazing around.

You leisurely post them on Instagram and your friends marvel at how relaxed you look and how amazing that infinity pool is.

After kids!

You wrestle with your toddler for 1 hour, trying to get him to wear his swimsuit. You then spend another 30 minutes trying to apply sunscreen on said toddler.

You accidentally get sunscreen in your toddler's eye and spend another 15 minutes washing it out. Your child is now howling.

You are determined your child is going to have a good time in the pool and pack the 20-odd pool toys you brought into a bag.

You march to the pool with your (still howling) toddler in tow.

It's now lunchtime and your toddler declares he's hungry, so you stop on the way to feed him (bad idea).

You finally reach the pool.

You get in the pool with your child who starts howling again because the water is too cold/too hot/his favourite pool toy is missing.

Your child gets so excited/anxious that he vomits the lunch he just ate.

You head back to your hotel room with your vomit-smeared toddler in tow (yes, he's howling again).

At least you got to spend 10 minutes in the pool, right?!

Before kids...

You're on vacation, so you sleep in till at least 10am... after all, you have the rest of the day (and night) to do exactly what you like.

At 10am, you lazily stretch out on your king-sized bed, order breakfast in bed, and cuddle each other till your breakfast arrives.

You admire how relaxed your partner looks as he exclaims in total admiration how your skin is glowing with all the rest you've been getting. You might even have sex before breakfast.

A gentle knock on the door announces your breakfast is served, so you lazily consume it while sipping mugs of piping hot coffee.

Over breakfast, you plan out your day and your next vacation.

Sigh! Life is good!

After kids!

You're woken up at 5am by your 3-year-old who really needs to pee.

At 5.30am, your 5-year-old has a burning question about the Universe, and, of course, you are expected to answer this question.

At 6am, both children declare they're hungry.

You get out of bed (your back and neck are hurting because you've been sleeping on about 1 foot of mattress with your kids star-fished between you and your partner) and find some cereal to feed your hungry kids.

You continue your stimulating discussion with the 5-year-old about the Universe (he also wants to know if his brother will vomit in the pool again as it was SO much fun!) as your 3-year-old declares he is still hungry.

You order room service, feed more food to your 3-year-old child with a bottomless pit for a tummy, and discuss with your partner how you'll wait till your kids are teenagers before you attempt another vacation.

Before kids...

This is the vacation where you and your partner will connect with each other physically and mentally... every day and every night.

The sex has never been better... who knows, you might even conceive your first child!

After kids!

The last thing on your mind is sex. Even if you wanted to, there's no way you could have sex anyway, with your children draped across your bodies in bed.

You briefly feel the urge to get frisky with your husband when he offers to change your little one's diaper.

The urge quickly passes though, when your husband yells that the little one has had a poo explosion and that he needs your help to clean the mess up.

Before kids...

Over a romantic meal — complete with champagne and oysters (to set the mood for later), filet mignon and crème brulee — you gaze into each other's eyes and feed each other delicate morsels of food.

You plan out which amazing restaurant you will dine at the next day.

Comfortably full, you stroll along the beach in the moonlight and head back to your hotel... the night is young and the oysters and champagne are starting to work their magic!

After kids!

Your kids squeal excitedly at the sight of a fast food joint and declare loudly that they will only eat fried chicken for dinner.

You gaze longingly at the fine-dining establishment across the road and are brought back to Earth with a bang by loud voices chanting, "We want fried chicken, we want fried chicken!"

You go into the fast food joint and order enough junk food to feed a small army.

Your kids eat almost everything and then your 3-year-old proceeds to vomit because he has overeaten.

You get the leftovers packed and head back to the hotel room.

Guess what's for dinner? Leftover fried chicken, of course!

Before kids...

"Wow, just look at that beautiful location! Let's take a selfie there, shall we, and post it on Facebook and see how many 'likes' we get."

The photos of the 2 of you are endless and amazing, and you can't wait to get home to post a 'proper' album on Facebook and tell your friends all about the AMAZING vacation you had!

After kids!

There's just one blurry picture of you! Every other picture is of the kids.

And in another 5 years as you re-visit your vacation through those pictures, you won't remember the vomiting, poo explosions or lack of sex.

What you will remember is how much fun your kids ultimately had in the pool...

How excited your 5-year-old was about room service...

How cute your 3-year-old looked in his oversized sunglasses and dinosaur swimsuit...

And you know you won't trade those memories for all the selfies, champagne or oysters in the world!

Written by

Nalika Unantenne

Travelkidsparentsfamily holidaymum and dad