Does your child have too many extracurricular activities? Be careful not to overload them!

All parents want the best for their children — but when we overload them with too many extracurricular activities, we may be doing them more harm than good.

Does your child have too many extracurricular activities? Be careful not to overload them!

We all know that extracurricular activities are good for school-age children. They teach invaluable social skills (getting along, good sportsmanship, teamwork, etc.), and promote physical exercise and activity — which, in turn, help combat childhood obesity and are great confidence builders.

Also, children who play sports or engage in music or art lessons, or who are involved in clubs focusing on a particular hobby are generally more self-confident, do better in school and are comfortable in a variety of settings.

When do extracurricular activities become a detriment rather than an instrument to your child’s growth and development? Let’s take a look at some of the facts concerning children’s extracurricular activities.

But before we do so, we encourage you to read them carefully, with an open mind, then decide. Decide if you are overloading your children OR if you are using these activities as they are meant to be used — as opportunities for fun, socializing, and building physical, mental and emotional skills.

#1 Mind the age

Parents are pushing extracurricular activities at an earlier age all the time. Infant swimming lessons, preschool gymnastics and soccer, and music or art lessons before they can add or subtract are becoming the norm!

A child’s extracurricular activities should be of their choosing (within reason), i.e. something they have developed an interest in. Infants and preschoolers do not have the mental capability to make those kinds of choices.

Children in this age group generally may not possess the physical strength and stamina needed for such activities, the mental clarity to comprehend the rules of a game, and the ability to focus for the amount of time required by such extracurricular activities.

#2 Not enough time

A child involved in too many extracurricular activities is robbed of time at home and time with parents and family.

Most families these days are comprised of parents who both work outside the home or single parents who work outside the home. This means children spend the vast majority of their time away from home — either in school or daycare… and away from their parents.

Thus, spending even more of what little time is left for family bonding to go from this practice to that and from one game to the next makes home nothing more than a transfer station.

Kids need and deserve more than this from the place they call home — they need 'home' to be a place of rest, a place to just ‘be’ and a place to frolic and play in… no strings attached.

#3 Overstimulation

Children involved in few extracurricular activities tend to do better in school and social settings than children involved in no extracurricular activities. However, children who are overly involved tend to do worse in school due to exhaustion, inability to concentrate and not having enough time at home to study, do homework and rest.

The problems are obvious — overstimulation wears a child out. It’s a bit like the story of the "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" — you have to let your child find what is 'just right' for him/her.

#4 Too much structure

Extracurricular activities provide structure and require conformity. While structure and conformity are a necessary part of life, too much of a good thing makes it a bad thing. Young children (up to approximately age 12) are still growing and discovering their coping capabilities.

Too much structure and having too much expected of them (to play well, score points, show up for practices and games consistently, etc.) sends them into 'flight mode,' i.e. they can’t handle the stress so they will either act out or hide by withdrawing from the 'outside world.'

How much is too much?

So the question we need to ask ourselves now is: How much is too much? And are there activities parents should refuse to let their children participate in, even if ‘everyone else is doing it’?

While there are no definitive right or wrong answers, most experts and children (the real experts on the subject matter at hand) tend to agree that one or two extracurricular activities per school semester are already plenty.

That's why in places there are some sports that are only played in the first semester while others are only played in the second. This is not ‘the law’, of course.

Ultimately, each family must decide what is best for their children. To help you, here are some great ‘rules of thumb’ you can measure your child’s 'extracurricular activity quotient' by.

1. How old is your child? A child who is not old enough to go to school really isn’t ready for structured activities that require anything beyond sharing, getting along and just having fun.

2. How much time do you and your family have together at home now? How much of that time do you feel is a healthy amount to give up, without robbing your family of too much bonding time?

3. How many children are in your family? For example, if you have one child doing 1 or 2 activities, that is completely manageable. But if you have 3 or 4 children all doing 1 or 2 different activities, well, you do the math.

4. Will the activities put a financial burden on the family? Or will other children be forced to go without something they need or want for the sake of a sibling’s activity expenses?

5. Will you, as a parent, be willing and able to support your child’s efforts? Sadly, some parents use activities as extended childcare. Don’t be this parent. While practices are optional, parents should attend all games, meets, concerts, etc. unless there are unavoidable circumstances.

6. Ask your children how they feel about their extracurricular activities. They may think everything looks fun, but are they really enjoying it? Ask these questions too:

Are they getting the physical and emotional benefits these activities are supposed to bring?

Do they want to pursue it or would they rather focus their attention on other things? It is important to emphasize to your children that doing 1 or 2 things really well brings much greater satisfaction than being average or below average at a lot of things.

Finally, try to find a copy of the book The Berenstain Bears and Too Much Pressure and read it aloud with your children. It will bring about more than a few smiles and giggles, but there’s a lot of truth in its pages too.

At the end of the day, remember that each child is unique and develops at his/her own pace. Don't worry too much about his/her extracurricular activities, or the seeming lack of it: He/she will shine when the right time comes!

Written by

Darla Noble

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