Tips on raising resilient children
Raising resilient children is essential for their future! Learn how by reading on.
A carefree childhood is a nice ideal but harder to perpetuate. The reality is: it is not just adults who have to deal with stress. Children do sometimes face pressure, not only from the school curriculum but also from their peers and family.
As they mature, our children need to be able to deal with both success and failures. As parents, we can help them by teaching them ways of being resilient, to ensure that when they are faced with life’s setbacks, they will not be overwhelmed but are able to bounce back.
Although most parents have it in their nature to want to protect their children from anything bad or hurtful for as long as possible, it is important to teach independence, self-confidence and resilience at an early age. Here’s how:
1) Encourage them to solve problems
When your child is facing a problem, try not to jump in and help immediately. Instead, encourage her to explore ways of solving the predicament. For example, if she is disappointed that her teacher didn’t pick her to help carry some books, resist the temptation to call up the teacher to request her to let your child to do so!
Even though it may be the easiest thing to step in, encourage your child to find ways in which she would not be disappointed next time. With a bit of coaching, it won’t take your child too long before she realises that she has an option to volunteer help to her teacher.
2) Coach valuable life skills
Raising resilient children includes helping them work through areas in which they might be weak or challenged. For instance, if your child is too shy to make friends, teach her how to greet a person and strike up a polite conversation. Allow her to practice in front of a mirror or on other members of the family.
3) Skip the negativity
Raising resilient children means teaching them to deal with problems but remember not to focus on the doom and gloom. Don’t use dire outcomes as a warning. It will only scare them.
Instead use all situations as opportunities for learning something positive. So even if they fail at an attempt to do something, your children will naturally learn that every cloud has a silver lining.
More tips on raising resilient children on the next page.
4) Help them manage emotions
Raising resilient children doesn’t mean that they need to be made of stone. They are allowed to get mad, frustrated or sad if they feel like it. However, teaching them to manage their emotions is a must.
If your child is very disappointed in losing a game and sulks, tell her that you understand her feelings. However, teach her that moping around doesn’t improve anything but moving on and getting back to practice does.
5) Allow mistakes
As parents, we hate to see our children fail and make mistakes. However, raising resilient children means that they must be allowed to make mistakes, provided that they learn from it.
If your child didn’t study for an exam and got a failing grade, ask what she is going to do to prevent it from happening again. Let her find a solution to avoid the unwanted result in the future. These lessons that your children learn for themselves are far more valuable than any nagging or lecturing you.
6) Be a model of resiliency
Raising resilient children means being resilient yourself. Show your children that you will never give up on anything, even through hard times. If the family stumbles upon a problem, make it a habit to find a brighter side and say “we can get through this”.
How do you ensure that your children are growing up resilient? Share your tips with us. For added information on how raising resilient children, watch this video: