No parents are perfect. Even if our parents did a great job raising us, there will always be room for improvement. One theAsianparent Community discussion revolved around how some of us parent the way we wish our parents did:
Here’s what the theAsianparent Community community had to say.
“I won’t embarrass my child or put him/her down”
One thing that I didn’t particularly enjoy that my mother did when I was a kid was when my mother “badmouth” me to her friends or relatives (in front of me). For instance, when others praised me for being well-mannered, she would go: “No! You should see her when she’s at home… *spills embarrassing details of a certain tantrum episode*”
I’m sure the intention was not to put me down and more likely to be humble (perhaps) in front of others, or it’s just something that Asian parents do. But as a kid, I always wished that there was a hole for me to disappear into.
— Hui Q. N.
“I won’t spank my child”
Spanking has side effects on children’s behavior and psychology. I will not use it on my children. There are alternative parenting approach when comes to discipline.
— Diana L.
“I will have more faith in my child”
My parents never did quite trust me. I was pretty active in my school’s volleyball team and we had intensive trainings 3 times a week. Trainings would usually start at about 3 pm and would end at 8:30 pm. We’d shower, have dinner then go home. So by the time I got home, it would be maybe 11pm or so.
My dad used to accuse me of going clubbing , using volleyball as an excuse even after I said he could always pick me up (he said I can always “pretend” to be at trainings and come from somewhere else) and it got so bad until one day I really went all rebellious.
— Nooraini D.
“I won’t reinforce gender stereotypes”
Set gender stereotypes, like good girls are supposed to be demure, pretty and learn how to cook, sew, and be a good wife/daughter in law.
—polar mummy77
“I will encourage them to speak up”
My parents never let me argue with them. It was always, “because I said so … because I am your mother/father…” and if I dared to argue, they would just raise their voice and cut me off.
I don’t want to do that to my kids. I want them to challenge me and challenge the world around them.
— R. G.
“I won’t focus too much on grades”
Making unachievable goals for you kid academically and ignoring anything other than that. I was very good at painting as a primary schooler.
But it was ignored to such an extent that when I stopped doing it, no one at my house noticed. But sudden drop in exam marks clearly raised their eyebrows.
— Harshit K.
“I will create more structure”
My parents were never too strict, maybe too easygoing sometimes. I will make sure to have rules and chores in my house to teach kids responsibilities. Sometimes I feel like I learnt the hard way because I wasn’t taught household chores when I was younger. I want to teach my kids to be more well-rounded (housework and life work).
— Roshni C.
“I won’t fight with my spouse in front of the kids”
Fighting in front of kids, that impacted me a lot when I was a kid. Parents should understand children perceive a lot more than they think and screaming, fighting really affects them emotionally.
— Karina L.
“I will let my kids explore his/her interests”
My parents didn’t buy the idea that having extra-curricular activities is important to a child’s development. I wanted to enroll in different sports and even attend music classes, but they said our house is far from school and that engaging in those activities are not really important.
I will support my child in whatever activity he/she would like to engage in because I believe that academics is not just the sole part of a child’s development. There’s so much more outside the walls of a classroom.
— Janine M.
What would you do differently? Join the theAsianparent Community discussion here!
