10 Things Parents Should Never Say To Their Kids - Part 2

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Parenthood is tough and dealing with your kids can be tougher, especially when you get annoyed at their actions. But as much as your kids might annoy you at times, it’s important to understand that they will take everything a parent says seriously, and will get hurt even if you don’t mean it.

"Don't be silly, you can't be upset"

Many times kids get upset about insignificant things. However, as parents we have to take a step back and realize that their world is much smaller than our own. A friend acting strange, or not getting something they want can upset a kid greatly. Instead of telling them their problems aren't valid, try to talk to your kid about it.

"I hate you too!"

Kids often throw the phrase "I hate you" around several times when angry. But if a parent says the same back to their child, it can hurt a kid's feelings (because you're supposed to love your child no matter what!). Even though the fight may end soon, they'll always remember what you said. If your kids says "I hate you", it's probably better to say nothing at all rather than something that will hurt your kid.

"You're so stupid!"

It is normal to get irritated with your kid, especially at times when you're in the kitchen and your kid can't do one thing right to help you. This is when we can all too easily tell them "You're so stupid!". This phrase can really hurt a kid, it can make them feel like they are a failure at everything they do. This way you are making your kid feel like a nuisance when all they want to do is help you and have fun with you.

"Stop crying"

When you tell your child to "stop crying" they can think that what they feel is not acceptable, and they are wrong. This in fact triggers more tears, which in turn makes a parent more angry. It is important to talk to your kid about whatever it is that is making them cry, whether it is something you said or anything else.

"When I was your age..."

Although you feel like your child is being given many more privileges and is much less appreciative than you, telling them about your childhood is not the answer. They'll simply take it through one ear, and out the other. If you feel as though your kid is much less grateful than you, then you need to talk to your kid about it rather than talking about your life.

"Why can't you be more like your brother/sister?"

Comparing your kid to a sibling can greatly hurt your kid. It makes them feel as though they are loved less than their sibling. This can create feelings of anger, jealousy and cause competition between siblings. The relationship between siblings can change dramatically based on how the parents treat them, so it is important to treat all of your kids like individuals.

"Go away!"

You may be busy doing something, or in the middle of something important when you child interrupts you. But asking your child to go away will make him or her feel as though he/she is not important to you. It could hurt their feelings deeply. It's helpful to know how to talk to your kid when it comes to matters like these. Rather than snapping at your kid, you should just tell them you'll be all theirs in five minutes.

"Stop being friends with so-and-so"

It's good to know your kids' friends, but to judge their friends and decide who's good enough or not, will hurt your kid. When you tell them to stop being friends with someone, they will put up a fight, and feel as though it is a personal attack and possibly rebel. If you strongly believe that a certain friend is a bad influence, you should talk to your kid about it and try to make them understand.

"That's enough food for you"

Using this phrase, especially at home will make your kid feel self-conscious. If your kid loves food and likes to eat, rather than limiting their food intake you could encourage them to play outside. Kids feel safe at home with their parents, so saying such a thing would make them feel unsafe and as if they cannot be themselves at home.

"Because I said so!"

Sometimes it's hard to give your child a reason for what you tell them to do, but validating it with this phrase makes your kid feel inferior. Doing this will lower your kid's self-esteem, and stop your kid from being curious.

Written by

Roshni Mahtani

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