7 things new mums shouldn't feel guilty about

Take it easy on yourselves, mums...

7 things new mums shouldn't feel guilty about

Motherhood and the entire concept of parenting can be really overwhelming – especially when it's your first time becoming a mum. New mums tend to panic and have frequent guilt trips over even trivial matters that they shouldn't really be bothered about.

My advice to new parents: try to drop the guilt. Do your best each day, but don’t burn yourself out. Your journey through motherhood is unique, and you shouldn't beat yourself over a slight wrong turn.

#1 Having some 'me' time

I felt the strongest guilt when I had to leave the house for 5 minutes just to water the plants. And felt even worse going out with my friends – away from my kid – for just an hour. It was hard not to blame myself for the littlest things but I've learnt that having time for yourself is the key to keeping you sane.

#2 Leaving my child with the babysitter

The first time I left my baby in my helper's care, I felt the guilt haunting me everywhere I went – in the office, at the bistro, when I was out in a meeting.

The guilt follows you but you've got to learn to adapt to juggling time with your baby and work.

#3 Going back to work so soon

Not having the luxury to be there for my child whenever I wanted to made me felt hopeless as a parent, but I've learnt to get over it. As long as you set specific times of the day for your child, it'll all be okay.

#4 Not letting my baby socialise with others

Back then, I'll panic if he is constantly at home playing with only me and/or the helper. I'll feel like I'm not doing enough in getting him to socialise with other kids.

Little did I know that not having playdates doesn't really mean you're failing them in terms of social development. As years passed, I realised that my other children who spent less time socialising with others developed almost perfect social skills.

#5 Letting them watch TV

At times when I've ran out of activities to entertain the little ones, I'll switch on the TV. These were the times I thought I deserved a little break from reading 50 children's books and singing 10 nursery rhymes to them. Even then, I'd still feel a little guilty.

#6 Allowing my son to suck on his thumbs

There were times where I ignored it when my son started sucking his thumb. He took comfort in pacifiers when he was a toddler and I just decided to turn a blind eye thinking he'll grow out of it sooner or later. And when it was time to get him to break the habit, he just wouldn't budge. I only stopped blaming myself once I realised my second child didn't have the same habit.

#7 Feeling like I'm ignoring my baby

There were plenty of times I felt too guilty for having a scroll through my Facebook feed while my baby boy just lies in his cot staring at his elephant mobiles.

I remember thinking to myself: "Why does it feel like I'm ignoring my baby? What am I supposed to do now that he is quiet? Do I just do my own thing? Omg am I supposed to read to him or sing him to sleep?"

But as time went by, I realised I was stressing for nothing. Sometimes, mums just need that time to themselves, and there's nothing wrong with it at all.

Written by

Mizah Salik

New mumsnewbornsmotherhood struggles